19 Feb, 2020

Try This: Fortunately, Unfortunately

By |2021-08-19T20:49:15-04:00February 19th, 2020|Categories: Workshop, Program, & Curriculum Design|Tags: , |0 Comments

Try this activity, and let me know how it goes.

“Fortunately, Unfortunately” is an improvisational storytelling game used in drama classes, with kids, and in group activities.

The game involves coming up with a plot and building on as the story goes.

It’s also a great way to add some program design and evaluation into your staff meetings.

With “Fortunately, Unfortunately”, we’re using this game to review processes and identify outcomes with our programming. Use this as a rapid-fire method to keep your staff on its feet by quickly identifying what went well, what didn’t go well, and how issues were addressed during the program cycle.

To add in the storytelling element, we’re retelling the program and its activities from start to finish, adding in moments of reflection where things went as planned (“fortunately”), where hiccups occurred (“unfortunately”), and how they were addressed (“fortunately”).

This activity is ideal for:

  • Anyone responsible for developing, running and evaluating programs and services 
  • Students interested in evaluative thinking

Here’s what you need:

  • A space large enough to fit in your program staff
  • A space to write on that’s large enough for everyone to view
  • Something erasable to write with
  • Your program’s logic model or curriculum may be useful, too

The steps:

Have a program staff member start off, setting the foundation for the “story”. Here’s an example of how the game can go:

“Fortunately, we were able to recruit the program participants we needed. We outreached to our unusual programming participants, as well as from local schools and other programs.”

The next staff member, building on this aspect of the program design, can say:

“Unfortunately, we recruited more participants than we could accommodate.”

The rest of the game can play out like this:

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14 Feb, 2020

Self Care Corner: Your Friendships Are Just As Important As Your Relationships

By |2021-08-19T20:48:04-04:00February 14th, 2020|Categories: Self & Community Care|Tags: , |0 Comments

On the eve of my 30th birthday, I met a few friends at a hookah lounge on the Lower East Side of Manhattan in New York.

At one point during the evening, one friend asked everyone to go around and share how they came into my life and one thing they’ve always appreciated about me.

I had friends there from my grad school program, feminist and other activist/social justice spaces, classmates from Spelman College, and friends I made from my pole dance classes.

As everyone took their turn sharing how they’d met me and what they appreciated about me, I realized how much I’d compartmentalized friendships. It had been rare for me to have my friends mixed in this way.

I also realized how uncomfortable I felt. Not only because I’ve always felt awkward hearing people speak positively about me, but also because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d mentioned to any of them how much they meant to me.

Intuitively, we know that our friends care about us. We also know which friends are always up to have fun and which ones we can count on in times of need. But how often do we tell our friends how much they mean to us?

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7 Feb, 2020

Ask Nicole: How Do I Decide Whether or Not to Give Up?

By |2021-08-19T20:46:47-04:00February 7th, 2020|Categories: Consulting|Tags: , |0 Comments

Have a question you’d like to be featured? Let me know.

Have you ever deconstructed the lyrics to a song?

I did that recently with Beyoncé’s Ring the Alarm from her 2006 album B’Day. In particular, the chorus/hook of the song.

If you’re not familiar, Ring the Alarm is about a woman contemplating whether to persist with a relationship that isn’t serving her versus walking away into the unknown (or in this case, with the understanding that she may be giving up on things that she’s grown accustomed to. Like Chinchilla coats, a Benz and the house off the coast, among other things.

Let’s look at it from a logic standpoint versus an emotional standpoint.

Logically, it doesn’t make sense to stay with someone that’s not treating you with respect. But emotionally, we’ve all lived through experiences where giving something up (in this case, a relationship) feels far scarier than ending it and going it alone. Plus, who wants to start all over?

I was asked recently if I’d ever gotten to a point where I wanted to call it quits from my consulting business. Yes I’ve gotten to this point plenty of times! I was also asked how did I know to stick with it.

Logically, I knew that I could always get another job. I had been with my agency for almost 6 years and it took around 3 months to land that position after graduating from my MSW program. Now that I’m a licensed social worker, I assumed it would take roughly the same amount of time or even less.

Emotionally, I’ve put a lot of time and effort into building my business and despite knowing what I logically know, it would be hard to let it go.

I realized it’s less about the time and effort you give to something. It’s about identifying your perceived return on investment (ROI). Here’s another way to illustrate this:

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15 Jan, 2020

Ask Nicole: Why Did You Move from New York City to Washington, DC?

By |2021-08-19T20:46:24-04:00January 15th, 2020|Categories: Miscellaneous|Tags: , |0 Comments

Have a question you’d like to be featured? Let me know.

After 11 years in New York City, I moved to Washington, DC, on December 30, 2019.

I’ve only been here for about 2 weeks, but in that short time, I’ve been asked a variation of the question above.

This has been a decision I debated for over a year, and understanding the privilege I have of being self-employed with no dependents and having the ability to pick up and go, it was a decision I didn’t take likely but also a decision that I wanted to make unapologetically.

For the past 2-3 years, I traveled between my home away from home (New York City) and my actual home (Atlanta), and in the process, I realized that something was missing in both locations.

I relocated from Atlanta to New York City in August 2008 for graduate school, and while the plan was to only be there to complete my degree, I decided to stay because I felt that there was something I needed to prove to not only myself to everyone else. I wanted to prove that I could make it away from home, and while there were plenty of hiccups along the way, I succeeded in that.

I went from seeing New York City as the only place I could ever see myself to realizing that, as exciting as the city is, I needed to be in a place that has a slower pace. But when I would go home, I didn’t feel that I belong there any more than I did in New York.

I also noticed my quality of life started to take a dive. For many, the cost of living, housing, job opportunities, schools, and more play a factor in measuring a city’s quality of life, but for me, I wanted mentally present anymore in both New York and Atlanta.

So, why Washington, DC? Ultimately, I chose DC because it represented to me something I no longer had in New York and I couldn’t find in Atlanta.

I wanted a new beginning.

And like Goldilocks, when New York started to become too much and Atlanta felt not enough, being in DC feels just right.

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18 Dec, 2019

Ask Nicole: How Are You Doing?

By |2021-08-19T20:46:06-04:00December 18th, 2019|Categories: Self & Community Care|Tags: , |0 Comments

Have a question you’d like to be featured? Let me know.

Early in the year, I picked up my phone to speak with a friend that I hadn’t talked to in a while.

We met while as college students and youth activists through one of Advocates for Youth’s youth leadership initiatives. She’s a pediatrician and had recently opened a home pediatrics business.

We were scheduled to talk about our businesses, and before we started, she asked, “First off, how are you doing? I see you doing great things via social media, but I really want to know how you are doing.”

I was caught off guard.

It took a few seconds to respond, and I realize I couldn’t remember the last time someone asked me if I was ok or how am I doing without it being tied to a request.

I get many requests for my time. Personally and professionally. Sometimes these requests start off with a “How are you?” or an “I hope you’re doing well”. Sometimes they get straight to the point. Most of the time these are people I’ve never spoken to before or they’re people I haven’t heard from in some time.

Or sometimes, I’ll reach out to someone only to discover they thought about me recently but didn’t think to reach out. Their reason? Because they look at what I post on social media and believe that everything is fine.

When was the last time you asked someone “How are you doing?” and it wasn’t connected to a request for their time?

How often do you think of someone and assume everything is fine based on what they elect to share on social media?

How often do you think of someone in passing, and make no effort to reach out to them?

When was the last time you made plans to spend time with someone and allowed for those plans to fall through?

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