16 Jan, 2019

How My Mother’s Death Makes Me Fear Motherhood (Revisited)

By |2021-08-19T20:22:53-04:00January 16th, 2019|Categories: Miscellaneous|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Today I thought about a comment my mom made to my sister and I years ago while driving to our aunt’s house to drop us off before going to work. We were arguing with each other in the back seat, when my mom yelled at us to stop and said, “I almost died giving both to y’all“.

I thought she was lying to get us to stop fighting. You can’t die giving birth, I thought. I had no concept of women dying while giving birth. Pregnancy and birth are supposed to be a joyous occasion for many, and the thought of growing up without her was something I didn’t want to endure.

When I wrote “How My Mother’s Death Makes me Fear Motherhood” in 2011, I was 28 years old, 15 years away from the age my mother was when she died. Now in my thirties and roughly 8 years away from that pivotal age, several of my friends are now experiencing parental loss, particularly their mothers.

I’m at a point in my motherless daughter journey where the pain, anger, and denial are not as intense as they were at age 17 when my mom died, yet there are moments where I feel my mom’s absence more now than I did back then.

Some of the reasons I gave for my fear of motherhood ran the gamut from not wanting to live up to the societal expectation that all women aspire to be mothers to dying prematurely before my child becomes an adult.

While I still believe that holding a puppy is more fun than holding a baby, I don’t necessarily fear motherhood in the ways I did back in 2011. Due to a shift in recent years of me working more with client organizations that work at the intersections of maternal health and racial justice, my thoughts have shifted more towards an earnest interest in maternal health and the complexities that come with it.

As incredulous as I felt then about pregnant women dying during childbirth, I have to remind myself now that it does occur. And it scares me more than my sister and I could have grown up without our mother rather than her dying before we became adults.

The comment my mom made was such a fleeting moment that now I wished I had asked her more about it. What were the causes and/or conditions she had that put her at risk for dying during childbirth?

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9 Jan, 2019

Ask Nicole: Find Your Niche to Attract Your Ideal Clients

By |2021-08-19T20:22:29-04:00January 9th, 2019|Categories: Consulting|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Have a question you want answered? Let me know.

From the beginning, I’ve always had a passion for helping to lift up the lived experiences of women and girls of color. From a marketing standpoint, I never once thought that having this as a primary focus would limit me in any way.

What tripped me up, however, was trying to decide who would be my primary audience. While I knew women and girls of color was my primary focus, I knew I couldn’t work directly with them (as far as program design/evaluation and organizational strategic planning go. Speaking events are a different matter).

Instead, I turned to the “gatekeepers”, the organizations, agencies and community groups who work with them, and my focus shifted to helping these entities build the necessary skills and foundation to implement and measure the impact their programs, services, and strategies have on the lives of women and girls of color.

Despite this, I had some initial hesitation on working with the gatekeepers instead of my primary focus.

Why niching down is important

The short answer: Because you can’t help everyone.

A longer explanation: You can’t be all things to everyone. It’s very tempting to want to offer services and products to everyone that shows up physically (or virtually) at your door. Whether you’re a one-person show if you have staff, it’s beneficial to identify who your products and services are benefitting and directly impacting.

The best part: When you have a clearly defined niche, you position yourself as an expert in your field. And from a marketing perspective, it makes things a lot easier because your audience will identify you based on your niche.

How to identify your niche

Here’s a simple process I’ve used to niche down more broadly in my business, as well as specific to my services:

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14 Nov, 2018

Ask Nicole: The #1 Question to Ask When Hiring a Consultant

By |2021-08-19T20:21:44-04:00November 14th, 2018|Categories: Consulting|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Have a question you’d like to be featured? Let me know.

Let me tell you a story:

In October 2015, I had decided to leave my day job by June 1st 2016. On my list of things to do was updating my website and getting professional pictures taken for the website and my social media profiles.

I live in New York, and I have plenty of friends who are in the creative and entertainment industries. So I asked a few of them for recommendations for a photographer. After viewing the portfolios of several photographers, I hadn’t landed on one I really wanted to work with.

A short time later, I was looking at my personal Facebook profile. I looked at my profile picture. It was from an event I had attended several months prior. I can’t remember if I was speaking or laughing at something, but I had an interesting expression only face. It’s one of my favorite pictures and I’ve gotten many compliments on it.

I didn’t speak to the photographer at the events but I distinctly remember her walking around and quietly taking pictures. And then it clicked.

I went back to the host’s event album and wrote down the name of the photographer, Jen Painter. I found her website and contacted her, sending her the link to my picture in the event album. I asked if she was available to schedule a session with me for later in the month. She shared her availability and pricing policy, and instead of booking half upfront, I booked the entire fee on the spot.

I met with Jen a few weeks later in the Brooklyn Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn for my shoot. She was nice and accommodating, and I felt very comfortable with her considering it was my first professional shoot. I enjoyed working with Jen so much that it was difficult for me to choose 5 pictures out of the many she’d taken of me for her to touch up. I found my favorites, and these pictures are the images you now see on my website, newsletter, and social media profiles.

“So, what does this have to do with hiring a consultant?”, you ask.

You see, a consultant can write a great proposal or work scope that fits what you’re looking for. They can even give their hourly or flat rate (which I’m beginning to see is a flawed way for clients choosing a consultant). But ultimately, none of this matters unless you have identified the value you’ll get in working with this person. So the #1 question to ask when hiring a consultant is this:

What value will I receive in hiring this person?

Knowing someone’s hourly rate or flat fee isn’t the most important part. Yes, you’re a nonprofit and budgets matter (though we all know that budgets can be moved around, so that’s not an excuse). Here’s why:

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10 Oct, 2018

Try This: Brainwriting for Rapid Engagement

By |2021-08-19T20:20:56-04:00October 10th, 2018|Categories: Workshop, Program, & Curriculum Design|Tags: , |0 Comments

No, that’s not a typo.

But since you’re thinking of brainstorming, let’s identify how it’s different from our focus for today, brainwriting.

When it comes to generating ideas, brainstorming typically consists of getting a group of people together to generate an idea on how to approach a particular problem. During this process, a few things may happen:

  • It’s a drawn out process
  • Sometimes the most vocal of the group tend to dominate the conversation
  • There’s one person documenting the ideas (and can’t fully participate because they’re too busy writing down everyone’s ideas)
  • The person documenting typically has the most power in how the idea looks when written down
  • There are a lot of ideas, but fewer suggestions on what to do with these ideas
  • There’s a greater chance for boredom

In comparison, brainwriting addresses these concerns by:

  • Limiting the amount of time the group generates ideas
  • Everyone participates equally rather than the most vocal of the group
  • Everyone is writing down their ideas instead of one person
  • Everyone decides how their idea looks written down
  • Everyone has the opportunity to provide a variation of the ideas, which promotes for creativity and insights into next steps
  • It’s more engaging

Brainwriting is a more effective process because it allows for more individuality in generating ideas rapidly, rather than conforming to groupthink. Rather than focusing on one person at a time, this method reduces the amount of talking that occurs during brainstorming, which can take time away from idea generation.

This activity is ideal for:

  • Understanding how an idea looks from multiple perspectives
  • Understanding how problem can be solved based on multiple perspectives
  • Having a more engaging process for group work within a training or workshop
  • Including more creative exercises within a focus group
  • Creating a more equitable way for introverts and extroverts people to participate

Here’s what you need:

  • Sheets of paper
  • Pens or pencils 

The steps:

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5 Oct, 2018

Ask Nicole: What Exactly Are You Evaluating?

By |2021-08-19T20:18:45-04:00October 5th, 2018|Categories: Research & Evaluation|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Have a question you’d like to be featured? Let me know.

I recently had a video meeting with one of my client organizations. We’re preparing for a presentation in a few weeks to orient some members of her staff to a newly-developed evaluation working group. They will be working directly with me on guiding the organization through the development of an evaluation framework for its programs and strategies, guided by the organization’s current strategic plan.

As we planned out the agenda and what topics to include, the staff member and I discussed various aspects of the evaluation design process, including logic models, theories of change, data collection and dissemination. In this discussion I touched on one aspect of the evaluation process that many would see as a given, but it’s actually more complex:

What exactly are you evaluating?

We ordinarily associate evaluation with the ending of a program, where we want to collect data to find out if what the program set out to do actually achieved its goals. But you can also evaluate the program as it’s being developed, or even evaluate if the program is appropriate enough to implement. 

While there are multiple evaluation theories, there are five common types of evaluation:

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