Today’s post has been on my to-write list for some time, but has been put on the backburner in favor of other topics I felt needed my attention.
Which is how many of us view self-care in general: Something that should get done, but gets regulated to the end of the priority list.
And in my Self Care Corner posts, I share an exercise, resource or piece of advice I think may be useful in helping you to build an effective self care practice.
Today’s post is more food for thought. It’s about the fatigue we feel when we are in a constant state of resistance and is inspired by a YouTube video I saw recently that beautifully illustrated what resistance is (and what happens when we choose to allow the resistance.)
In the video, Amy Westmoreland demonstrates what happens when you get your fingers caught in a Chinese finger trap. The most obvious option is to figure out how to get your fingers out, but you’ll notice that the more you struggle to release your fingers, the tighter the trap becomes.
To remove the trap easily, you have to relax. Amy says, “All I have to do is acknowledge what I’m in resistance over. Now, sometimes you’re not going to be able to pinpoint it exactly, but in this case, we know exactly what we’re in resistance over: Oh. My fingers are stuck. And you stop struggling and you allow it to be there, and that’s when you let it be that your fingers are stuck. As you do that, you naturally relax. We haven’t resolved the original problem, the thing we’re struggling against….but what you have done is made a major shift in your energy from resisting the resistance to allowing the resistance. When you allow it, it becomes easy to disengage.”
I first noticed resistance fatigue when I started getting into activism as a college student. I noticed it even more as I entered the workforce. Since watching Amy’s video, I’ve thought about how resistance shows up in my activism and in my client work. When something is happening in the political landscape that we don’t like, we go to the nearest protest or spend our time fighting with people on social media. When my clients get feedback about their programs, services, and strategies that they don’t like, they want to figure out how to spend it so that it sounds better. (And in some cases, they don’t want it to be reported at all. Luckily, I don’t work with these types of clients anymore.)
But what would happen if we stop resisting and allow what is to just be? As Amy mentions, we haven’t solved the problem that’s causing the resistance. But in this moment, there’s a relief.
How can we apply this concept to how we take care of ourselves and each other?
What would it look like if, for this moment, we didn’t concern ourselves with coming up with the solution, or developing organizing tactics to get to a win, and just allowed ourselves to sit with what’s happening?
Oh. My fingers are stuck.
Oh. This bill is being passed through the House and is headed to the Senate.
Oh. These are the results we were anticipating from our program participants.
This doesn’t mean that you’ll want to come up with a strategy or solution. It just means that sometimes, for our self and collective care, it’s more important to be in the moment and allow what is.
It also doesn’t mean we’re purposely choosing defeat. What it does mean is that, in this moment, it’s more important to stay present as a form of
Raise Your Voice: How do you address resistance fatigue? Share below in the comments section.
