10 Jun, 2020

Your Values Always Come at a Cost

By |2021-08-19T20:50:15-04:00June 10th, 2020|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: |0 Comments

Image description: Two protestors in Washingon, DC, holding brown and white signs with the phrase “Black Lives Matter” written in black. Photographer: Yasin Ozturk

Over the last 3 months, I’ve been doing a lot of observation.

Observing the ways in which my client organizations have (or not have) been able to pivot their operations and programming while supporting their staff and community in response to the coronavirus pandemic and the shelter-in-place orders many states and countries are still under.

The coronavirus coupled with the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement in response to the deaths of Breonna Taylor, Nina Pop, Ahmaud Aubrey, Tony McDade and George Floyd in recent weeks have exposed what we already know: Our society is unequal and many of the systems and infrastructures we engage daily are not efficient, not accessible, and not equitable.

But lately, I’ve observed something else: Companies, organizations, thought leaders, and brands who have never spoken up about racial injustices before now bombarding our inboxes and social media feeds with solidarity statements and using the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag.

If you’re like me, you’re skeptical of what you’re seeing. While there are some companies that have made their stance known on current events and social justice issues for a long time, I’ve divided public response into five categories:

  • The ones that do care and always speak out on social injustices
  • The ones that do care but have never spoken up until now
  • The ones that may care but are unsure what to say because it’s not “on brand”
  • The ones that don’t care but also don’t want to come off as racist, so they speak up
  • The ones that don’t care and haven’t said anything

I’m seeing a lot of “I know this is important and I want to say something but don’t want to say the wrong thing/am not educated enough on racism and police brutality/don’t want to offend anyone” remarks. These comments are stemming from people and companies who would fall in the third category.

While I don’t believe that companies should be forced to make a statement on something they have no expertise in, many of these companies, organizations, thought leaders, and brands aren’t discriminating when it comes to who they get their money from. And since racism is embedded in many systems we engage with, these entities need to speak up about it.

When someone says they don’t want to offend anyone, who are they referring to? The people directly impacted by systemic racism, or the ones that aren’t? I’ve seen several people with large social media following focusing more on the number of social media followers they’re losing for speaking up.

If taking a stand against systemic racism and police brutality causes people to unfollow you or no longer support you, were they really your ideal people anyway?

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19 Feb, 2020

Try This: Fortunately, Unfortunately

By |2021-08-19T20:49:15-04:00February 19th, 2020|Categories: Program, Service, & Campaign Design|Tags: , |0 Comments

Try this activity, and let me know how it goes.

“Fortunately, Unfortunately” is an improvisational storytelling game used in drama classes, with kids, and in group activities.

The game involves coming up with a plot and building on as the story goes.

It’s also a great way to add some program design and evaluation into your staff meetings.

With “Fortunately, Unfortunately”, we’re using this game to review processes and identify outcomes with our programming. Use this as a rapid-fire method to keep your staff on its feet by quickly identifying what went well, what didn’t go well, and how issues were addressed during the program cycle.

To add in the storytelling element, we’re retelling the program and its activities from start to finish, adding in moments of reflection where things went as planned (“fortunately”), where hiccups occurred (“unfortunately”), and how they were addressed (“fortunately”).

This activity is ideal for:

  • Anyone responsible for developing, running and evaluating programs and services 
  • Students interested in evaluative thinking

Here’s what you need:

  • A space large enough to fit in your program staff
  • A space to write on that’s large enough for everyone to view
  • Something erasable to write with
  • Your program’s logic model or curriculum may be useful, too

The steps:

Have a program staff member start off, setting the foundation for the “story”. Here’s an example of how the game can go:

“Fortunately, we were able to recruit the program participants we needed. We outreached to our unusual programming participants, as well as from local schools and other programs.”

The next staff member, building on this aspect of the program design, can say:

“Unfortunately, we recruited more participants than we could accommodate.”

The rest of the game can play out like this:

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14 Feb, 2020

Self Care Corner: Your Friendships Are Just As Important As Your Relationships

By |2021-08-19T20:48:04-04:00February 14th, 2020|Categories: Self & Community Care|Tags: , |0 Comments

On the eve of my 30th birthday, I met a few friends at a hookah lounge on the Lower East Side of Manhattan in New York.

At one point during the evening, one friend asked everyone to go around and share how they came into my life and one thing they’ve always appreciated about me.

I had friends there from my grad school program, feminist and other activist/social justice spaces, classmates from Spelman College, and friends I made from my pole dance classes.

As everyone took their turn sharing how they’d met me and what they appreciated about me, I realized how much I’d compartmentalized friendships. It had been rare for me to have my friends mixed in this way.

I also realized how uncomfortable I felt. Not only because I’ve always felt awkward hearing people speak positively about me, but also because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d mentioned to any of them how much they meant to me.

Intuitively, we know that our friends care about us. We also know which friends are always up to have fun and which ones we can count on in times of need. But how often do we tell our friends how much they mean to us?

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7 Feb, 2020

Ask Nicole: How Do I Decide Whether or Not to Give Up?

By |2021-08-19T20:46:47-04:00February 7th, 2020|Categories: Consulting|Tags: , |0 Comments

Have a question you’d like to be featured? Let me know.

Have you ever deconstructed the lyrics to a song?

I did that recently with Beyoncé’s Ring the Alarm from her 2006 album B’Day. In particular, the chorus/hook of the song.

If you’re not familiar, Ring the Alarm is about a woman contemplating whether to persist with a relationship that isn’t serving her versus walking away into the unknown (or in this case, with the understanding that she may be giving up on things that she’s grown accustomed to. Like Chinchilla coats, a Benz and the house off the coast, among other things.

Let’s look at it from a logic standpoint versus an emotional standpoint.

Logically, it doesn’t make sense to stay with someone that’s not treating you with respect. But emotionally, we’ve all lived through experiences where giving something up (in this case, a relationship) feels far scarier than ending it and going it alone. Plus, who wants to start all over?

I was asked recently if I’d ever gotten to a point where I wanted to call it quits from my consulting business. Yes I’ve gotten to this point plenty of times! I was also asked how did I know to stick with it.

Logically, I knew that I could always get another job. I had been with my agency for almost 6 years and it took around 3 months to land that position after graduating from my MSW program. Now that I’m a licensed social worker, I assumed it would take roughly the same amount of time or even less.

Emotionally, I’ve put a lot of time and effort into building my business and despite knowing what I logically know, it would be hard to let it go.

I realized it’s less about the time and effort you give to something. It’s about identifying your perceived return on investment (ROI). Here’s another way to illustrate this:

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15 Jan, 2020

Ask Nicole: Why Did You Move from New York City to Washington, DC?

By |2021-08-19T20:46:24-04:00January 15th, 2020|Categories: Miscellaneous|Tags: , |0 Comments

Have a question you’d like to be featured? Let me know.

After 11 years in New York City, I moved to Washington, DC, on December 30, 2019.

I’ve only been here for about 2 weeks, but in that short time, I’ve been asked a variation of the question above.

This has been a decision I debated for over a year, and understanding the privilege I have of being self-employed with no dependents and having the ability to pick up and go, it was a decision I didn’t take likely but also a decision that I wanted to make unapologetically.

For the past 2-3 years, I traveled between my home away from home (New York City) and my actual home (Atlanta), and in the process, I realized that something was missing in both locations.

I relocated from Atlanta to New York City in August 2008 for graduate school, and while the plan was to only be there to complete my degree, I decided to stay because I felt that there was something I needed to prove to not only myself to everyone else. I wanted to prove that I could make it away from home, and while there were plenty of hiccups along the way, I succeeded in that.

I went from seeing New York City as the only place I could ever see myself to realizing that, as exciting as the city is, I needed to be in a place that has a slower pace. But when I would go home, I didn’t feel that I belong there any more than I did in New York.

I also noticed my quality of life started to take a dive. For many, the cost of living, housing, job opportunities, schools, and more play a factor in measuring a city’s quality of life, but for me, I wanted mentally present anymore in both New York and Atlanta.

So, why Washington, DC? Ultimately, I chose DC because it represented to me something I no longer had in New York and I couldn’t find in Atlanta.

I wanted a new beginning.

And like Goldilocks, when New York started to become too much and Atlanta felt not enough, being in DC feels just right.

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