Ask Nicole: How to Deal with Imposter Syndrome
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“Imposter syndrome” is a psychological thought pattern that causes us to doubt our accomplishments while also being plagued by an internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. First described by psychologists Suzanne Imes, PhD, and Pauline Rose Clance, PhD, in the 1970s, impostor syndrome (also known as “imposter phenomenon”) occurs when feelings of inadequacies and incompetence come up despite having evidence that you really are competent.
Most articles about imposter syndrome focus on getting rid of it, but here’s the thing:
As you challenge yourself, you’ll start off feeling like an imposter. And it’s all part of the growing process.
The more I challenge myself, the fraudier I feel, initially. Plus, I’ve found through my own experience that feeling like an imposter is something you never rid yourself of. As you build your expertise, those fraudy feelings will come up. Here are my reasons why imposter syndrome may pop up and how to deal with it:
You don’t believe you’ve earned it
I love when a potential clients contact me about working with me. Regardless of how they were put into contact with me, it feels great when a client believes you’re the best person to work with them. However, I was speaking with a mentor a year ago about how it weirdly didn’t seem right to me. Why? Because I didn’t feel like I earned it. Logically, I’d rather have potential clients come to me or current clients renew a contract with me, but deep down it feels fraudy because most of us are used to going through some kind of process of selection. Or working hard for it. There’s a sense of achievement and satisfaction when you’ve been chosen out of a pool of candidates. Yet, you should feel special when someone contacts you directly because they feel you’re the right person for the job. So, what gives?
How to deal: Whether you’ve been handed an opportunity or you were chosen out of a pool of candidates, the reason why is still the same: You were the right person for the opportunity. How would you feel if someone were to say to you, “You know what? I appreciate you believing that I’m the best person for this, but I don’t feel that I’ve earned it because you didn’t choose me out of a pool of candidates”? It doesn’t sound logical. We’re used to the hustle and focus on making things happen that we don’t allow opportunities to come to us. If this still feels foreign to you, ask for the reasons for you being give the opportunity. You’ll see that the characteristics they see in you were the characteristics you saw in yourself all along.
You don’t have a frame of reference
When my consulting business was a just side hustle, I felt like a fraud because I didn’t really own the title of “consultant”. I didn’t think I had the experience under my belt to call myself that. Now that I’ve been working for myself for a while, I’ve realized that imposter syndrome was a problem then because I had no frame of reference for what it’s like to be self employed, let alone work as a consultant. I was basically mirroring what I’d seen others do. If you’ve been hired as an executive director of a nonprofit, and this is your first time being in a professional role like this, of course you’d feed fraudy, because you’ve never been an executive director before.
How to deal: When those fraudy feelings come up, continue to remind yourself that you were hired because you were the best person for the job. Someone saw qualities in you that would be perfect for [insert role title]. There may be certain aspects of the job that will require additional training or mentorship, but trust in your ability to do it. Which leads the next reason why you may feel imposter syndrome: