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Let’s say you go to your dentist because you’re experiencing some tooth pain.

You’ve done your (Google) research to determine what the cause of the pain might be, and have decided that it’s a cavity. You contact your insurance company to see how much it’ll cost to fix the cavity.

You get to your dentist’s office and tell them you need a cavity filling based on what you’ve discovered in your research. Without any questions, the dentist fills the cavity.

A month later, you’re back at the dentist’s office with more tooth pain. That pain ended up being way more than a cavity, and it’s about to cost more to find out what the real cause it. You’re frustrated because you told the dentist that you’re still experiencing tooth pain and the cavity filling didn’t solve the problem.

But can you really be upset with the dentist? After all, they only gave you a solution based on what you thought the real problem was.

This is how it feels to go through the Request for Proposals (RFP) process. If you’re not familiar with what an RFP is, it’s a document developed by an entity looking for a particular service. In my case, it would be consulting services.

The RFP process can be frustrating, and it’s a process I only participate in if the project sounds interesting (or if I’m interested in the prospect of working with a prospective client). The majority of my clients have not come by way of an RFP process, which pretty much gives you the answer to this month’s Ask Nicole question.

But do I really feel that all consultants should abandon the RPF process? Not really, but I do feel that we need to take nonprofits, foundations, and social service agencies to task on how ridiculous this process is in the hopes that they develop a better process that’s beneficial to everyone. There’s a lot left to be desired about the RFP process, but here are five things that bug me about it:

1) It’s an extremely vague process, focusing more on deliverables rather than being open to identifying what’s needed to get to those deliverables (and also figuring out if the process to get to the deliverables is even feasible within the budget and timeframe identified by the client. Which leads to the point #3).

2) The RFP is designed around what the organization thinks they need. As with the dentist example, if you tell your dentist what you think the solution is, it prevents them from doing a further examination to discover what the underlying needs really are and give you an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. I can’t develop an appropriate proposal for a prospective client just based off of what’s in the RFP without knowing some background information on the organization or program that’s more than likely not listed in the RFP.

3) Clients are weirdly vague about how much all of this is going to cost. If we’re being honest, an organization knows how much they’re willing to budget, but none are upfront about it. They’re either afraid to list it because of the belief that the most talented individual or group will believe the budget is too small, or they think they’ll have the upper hand at negotiations.

( I do not know of anyone willing to apply to a job posting that doesn’t have the annual salary listed. It’s tacky and unethical to deny someone the right to determine whether working for an organization will result in pay equity and livable wages. Plus, we all know an organization will eventually go with the consultant or group that costs the least.)

I recently got this question from Stacey, an employee in the process of transitioning from her job into self-employment. Stacey writes:

Hi Nicole,

I’ve been building up my business while being full-time at my job, and I’m planning on leaving my employer to move onto working for myself by summer. I’ve built up a solid client base, and while I’m happy I’ve been able to do it, I grow frustrated when I land a solid lead only for them to disappear. I do send emails and call them to follow-up, but I’m met with radio silence. Is there a way to stop potentia clinets from ghosting me? Any suggestions for keeping potential clients engaged enough for me to seal the deal?

Landing a new client is kind of like the dating process. While you’re excited at the prospect of working together, you (and the potential client) are still feeling each other out.

And just when you think everything is good to go, they can disappear without warning.

Of course, it’s frustrating because you’ve invested a lot of time into making it work (including submitting your cover letter and resume, a response to a proposal or work scope, and references, not to mention scheduling a meeting either in person or why phone/video). So you can’t help but feel some kind of way when it doesn’t work out.

The short answer to Stacey’s question is: No, you can’t stop potential clients from ghosting you…but there are some measures you can take so that, regardless of the outcome, you can walk away feeling good about your role in the process.

Here’s the long answer, broken up into two parts: 1) When you seek out an opportunity and 2) When an opportunity comes looking for you:

From the beginning, I’ve always had a passion for helping to lift up the lived experiences of women and girls of color. From a marketing standpoint, I never once thought that having this as a primary focus would limit me in any way.

What tripped me up, however, was trying to decide who would be my primary audience. While I knew women and girls of color was my primary focus, I knew I couldn’t work directly with them (as far as program design/evaluation and organizational strategic planning go. Speaking events are a different matter).

Instead, I turned to the “gatekeepers”, the organizations, agencies and community groups who work with them, and my focus shifted to helping these entities build the necessary skills and foundation to implement and measure the impact their programs, services, and strategies have on the lives of women and girls of color.

Despite this, I had some initial hesitation on working with the gatekeepers instead of my primary focus.

Why niching down is important

The short answer: Because you can’t help everyone.

A longer explanation: You can’t be all things to everyone. It’s very tempting to want to offer services and products to everyone that shows up physically (or virtually) at your door. Whether you’re a one-person show if you have staff, it’s beneficial to identify who your products and services are benefitting and directly impacting.

The best part: When you have a clearly defined niche, you position yourself as an expert in your field. And from a marketing perspective, it makes things a lot easier because your audience will identify you based on your niche.

How to identify your niche

Here’s a simple process I’ve used to niche down more broadly in my business, as well as specific to my services:

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Let me tell you a story:

In October 2015, I had decided to leave my day job by June 1st 2016. On my list of things to do was updating my website and getting professional pictures taken for the website and my social media profiles.

I live in New York, and I have plenty of friends who are in the creative and entertainment industries. So I asked a few of them for recommendations for a photographer. After viewing the portfolios of several photographers, I hadn’t landed on one I really wanted to work with.

A short time later, I was looking at my personal Facebook profile. I looked at my profile picture. It was from an event I had attended several months prior. I can’t remember if I was speaking or laughing at something, but I had an interesting expression only face. It’s one of my favorite pictures and I’ve gotten many compliments on it.

I didn’t speak to the photographer at the events but I distinctly remember her walking around and quietly taking pictures. And then it clicked.

I went back to the host’s event album and wrote down the name of the photographer, Jen Painter. I found her website and contacted her, sending her the link to my picture in the event album. I asked if she was available to schedule a session with me for later in the month. She shared her availability and pricing policy, and instead of booking half upfront, I booked the entire fee on the spot.

I met with Jen a few weeks later in the Brooklyn Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn for my shoot. She was nice and accommodating, and I felt very comfortable with her considering it was my first professional shoot. I enjoyed working with Jen so much that it was difficult for me to choose 5 pictures out of the many she’d taken of me for her to touch up. I found my favorites, and these pictures are the images you now see on my website, newsletter, and social media profiles.

“So, what does this have to do with hiring a consultant?”, you ask.

You see, a consultant can write a great proposal or work scope that fits what you’re looking for. They can even give their hourly or flat rate (which I’m beginning to see is a flawed way for clients choosing a consultant). But ultimately, none of this matters unless you have identified the value you’ll get in working with this person. So the #1 question to ask when hiring a consultant is this:

What value will I receive in hiring this person?

Knowing someone’s hourly rate or flat fee isn’t the most important part. Yes, you’re a nonprofit and budgets matter (though we all know that budgets can be moved around, so that’s not an excuse). Here’s why:

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