I’m asked this question often, or some variation of it.

I think it’s because people want to probe what it is I’m actually doing with my time because “consulting” can mean different things. Plus, there’s the assumption that I have more time on my hands compared to someone who doesn’t work for themselves.

The short answer is: It depends.

The longer answer is: It depends on what’s occurring at that point in time during a project, which projects are operating simultaneously, what’s going on with my clients, and what’s happening with my own non-client projects.

On any given day, I may have 2-3 client calls, a webinar meeting to either attend or host for a client, prepping for an in-person presentation or workshop, invoicing, planning out my blog content and newsletter editorial calendar, scheduling social media posts, participating in online forums to seek or give advice, writing a project proposal or end-of-program report, 1:1 coaching with client staff, doing an informational interview for someone interested in what I do, or scheduling a meeting with a prospective client.

Some days I get up and prepare for the day in the way I used to when I worked in an office setting, and some days I literally roll over, grab my laptop, and get started. Some days I work from home, or I’ll head over to the nearest cafe or coworking space.

Some days I’m more productive in the morning, where other days I feel more productive in the evenings. You may see people in online blog posts give a by-the-hour breakdown on what they do, but unless I have to do something at a particular time, I allow my day to flow the way it needs to.

Last week, I was in Chicago to facilitate an evaluation meeting with one of my Chicago-based clients and to co-facilitate a roundtable discussion with them during the 2019 Culturally Responsive Evaluation and Assessment Conference.

When my flight touched down back in New York, I called my dad to let him know that I’d landed. I do this every time I travel somewhere.

While on the phone I’d mentioned to him that, while sitting in one of the conference sessions, I’d gotten an email from a prospective client interested in engaging me on working with them on a 2-3 year project, and how we’d set up a time for the following week to talk about it so that I could determine whether I’m a good fit for the client.

My dad commented, “You’re getting up there in the world”, and that he was happy to hear that things were going well with the business and with my clients.

Over the weekend, I celebrated the 3rd year anniversary of me submitting my resignation letter to my former supervisor, with a final employment date of May 31st. I had no problems staying on to help recruit and train my replacement. But the main reason why I wanted more time was so I could prepare myself to tell my dad that I would be leaving to go work for myself.

My dad is in his early sixties and has been with the same company since he was 18, and prior to my mother’s death in 2001, she’d been with her company for 20 years. I was two weeks away from leaving my job when I finally told my dad. He asked a few questions but didn’t say much after that. 2016 was a good year for my business, but things were very rocky the following year to the point where my family was worried for me. By the end of 2017, my business was moving in a more positive direction, and my dad went from checking in on me on a weekly basis to checking in on me whenever I would call home.

For many, this is the context we grew up in: seeing friends and family work for someone else. And when we share that a goal of becoming self-employed (or any goal for that matter), what we’re looking for is support and confirmation that we can do it.

We want to know that the people we have around us support what we do. Friends and family can be well-meaning, but it’s important to understand that not everyone will understand your goals and may not be able to help you achieve them. Especially if they have not had the same experience. But they do want to support your efforts.

In order to get friends and family to support your goals, you have to be clear about the type of support you want from them. In my case,

Initially, I would encourage friends and family to sign up for my newsletter letter or to follow me on my social media platforms. Once I identified the type of support I wanted from them, I slowly stopped doing this and requested instead for their emotional support but also gave them the opportunity to self-select how they want to support me. Emotional support for me includes checking in on me to see how things are going or sharing with others what I’m doing in my business.

Though I prefer emotional support, I’ve had friends hire me for trainings or projects because they were in a position within their organization to do so, and they believed I was a good fit for their needs. Or they’ve referred a prospective client to me.

The other way you can persuade friends and family to support you? Actually doing the work.