Parent-Child Communication: Keepin’ it Real Around the Kitchen Table
Several years back, I co-facilitated a workshop called “Keepin’ It Real Around the Kitchen Table: Sparking the Discussion About Sex Between Teens and Families”. I’ve facilitated this workshop on and off throughout the years, and while the audience dynamic changes every time I facilitate this workshop, one thing remains the same: 1) Adults feel that young people don’t listen to them, and 2) young people feel that adults don’t listen to them either.
As a subject matter, sexuality requires consistent discussion tailored around the young person’s developmental level. A young person’s family can be a resource that is often underutilized and underdeveloped as an avenue for intervention. In general, when trust and mutual understanding are at the forefront, young people are more likely to talk with their parents, guardians, older siblings, and other trusted adults, and in turn it builds the confidence necessary to discuss more serious subject matters. When these elements are missing, it’s easy for young adults to get involved in activities that can put their health at risk.
Why Keepin’ It Real is Important
In many cultures, sitting around the kitchen table to share meals opens up the opportunity to share what’s going on in our lives. This can lead to frank and honest discussion about a variety of topics (often referred to as keepin’ it real). When it comes to having conversations that can shape how we view our bodies and our lives, keeping it real is required, and should be tailored in such a way that it respects the sexual emergence of young people at various developmental levels. The family dynamic (birth and chosen) can provide a safe space for these conversations. Talking about sexuality can be extremely difficult, but with patience, understanding, and a willingness to learn, adults can be viewed as a beneficial and accessible resource for young people (and they can also learn from young people in the process).
Before any type of discussion on sex and sexuality comes up, it’s important to see just how…“askable” you really are. Advocates for Youth created this nifty guide called “Are You an Askable Parent?” that I tend to highlight as a resource for youth and adults alike. I tend to notice that adults oftentimes will wait until their young person brings up the subject of sex and sexuality before they decide on how best to approach the conversation. By that time, the adult is so flustered that the conversation goes nowhere, leaving both the adult and the young person with no clear sense of what just happened. I give some tips here on how to speak with a young person when the topic of sexual health comes up. If you’ve read those tips, awesome! If not, click the link (this link right here), read them, and come on back. I’ll wait…
Good!
Now that we have the tips in mind, let’s put them into action. (more…)
