Raise Your Voice Blog | Nicole Clark Consulting

13 Nov, 2013

Review: “Subjectified: Nine Young Women Talk About Sex” (2013)

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T18:26:15-04:00November 13th, 2013|Categories: Miscellaneous|Tags: Reflections|0 Comments

One of the features of my newsletter, Raise Your Voice, is “Nicole Recommends”, where I give a brief review of a product, organization, film/tv show, service, or opportunity that has the potential to raise awareness on health-related and social justice issues that affect women and girls of color. So when I was asked to review Subjectified, I initially planned to only mention it in my newsletter. However, I thought it would be interesting to share my thoughts on this documentary here on my blog because 1) I have never done an actual review on my blog, and 2) I wanted to get the word out about the project that’s connected to this documentary and I think they can be beneficial.

Subjectified uses story-sharing to give viewers an unfiltered look at the sexual histories of nine young women in the United States. Filmmaker Melissa Tapper Goldman describes Subjectified as “a documentary that presents a real, human picture of women’s diverse sexual experiences from around the United States. When it comes to sex, women are so often seen (on billboards or television), but their voices are rarely heard.” What we tend to see in mainstream media is often in stark contrast to what young women are actually experiencing. Other influences, such as geographic region, religion, politics, and family upbringing can also play a role in how young women take on their sexuality. Tapper Goldman set out to answer the question, “What would real stories of female sexuality sound like?”, and the young women featured in Subjectified are just as diverse and their geographic locations.

They share personal stories on varied parts of sexuality and sex, including childbirth, breastfeeding, abortion, birth control, masturbation, body image, sexually transmitted infections, sex education, and surviving sexual assault. Mariluz (age 19) was raised in the Catholic Church, and confidently talks about how her sex life with her boyfriend is filled with playful touches and comfort. Brittney (age 20) shares stories of her Mormon upbringing, being sexually active, and how she has sometimes had sex when it didn’t feel good to her. Joy (age 23) discloses being molested at age 7 and the guilt she’s felt associated with her sexuality, pressure to have sex, and to feel more like an adult. Alexis (23) shared that she was excused from sex education in school due to her religious upbringing, and how sex became real for her when she discovered that she didn’t have to behave the way that adult film actresses do in pornography. Rebecca (23) is a daughter of a southern pastor, abstinent, and shares what kind of sex life she hopes to have with her future husband. “Moree” (24) learned about sex from her father, and shared how her first sexual partner’s decision to wear a condom prompted her to become more responsible about sex. “Vanessa” (25) shares her experiences of being sexual assaulted, her need to feel loved and accepted by her romantic partners, and how pregnancy has affected her body. Jackie (age 26) tells a story of growing up in abstinence-only education in the Midwest. And Samantha (age 28) was excommunicated from her Evangelical church and discussed her attraction to women, despite being raised to believe that women were subservient to men.

I enjoyed the stories of the young women in Subjectified, but the stories I enjoyed the most were from the young women of color: (more…)

25 Sep, 2013

Planning & Facilitating Valuable Workshops (Part Four): Evaluating Your Workshop

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2023-02-08T22:09:51-05:00September 25th, 2013|Categories: Speaking & Facilitation|Tags: Facilitation, Meetings, Workshops|0 Comments

Pipe cleaners? I’ll explain…

This is Part Four in a four part series in planning, facilitating, and evaluating a workshop, designed to assist you if you’re new to the world of workshop facilitation or want to find more ways to improve what you’re already doing.

In Part One, we focused on essential things to consider before planning your workshop. In Part Two, we learned how best to structure a workshop for maximum effect, using my workshop template. In Part Three, we discussed the skills needed to be an effective workshop facilitator. Today, let’s discuss the final phase in workshop facilitation: gathering feedback from your participants as a way to improve your workshop.

Just as a direct service provider gathers feedback on her services at her agency or organization, evaluating your workshop is important in order to improve the workshop for another set of participants. You get direct feedback from your participants on what worked, what can be improved, and how the participants processed the information they’ve learned from your workshop.

You’re getting feedback on four components:

*Usefulness- Did the participant find the workshop useful? As we know from Part One, sometimes participants are attending your workshop because it’s mandatory, based on skill set on potential knowledge increase expected by the person or group who have invited you to facilitate. Either way, can the participant see herself applying what she’s learned in her life, school, or work?

*Workshop flow- Did the participant feel there was enough time for the topic being covered? Often, you’ll be told how much time you’ll have for your workshop, and you want to make the best use of it. Going back to Part Two, you have the option of delving deeper into an aspect of a topic, or the option of being more broad. Did the participant feel that she was given enough time to do the workshop activities? Was too much time given? Did the workshop end abruptly or was there an appropriate conclusion?

*Facilitator style- Did the participant feel that the facilitator was knowledge on the topic? Did the participant feel welcomed into the workshop space? Did the participant feel that her voice was heard? Did the participant feel that the facilitator was able to guide the conversation and handle distractions accordingly? In Part Three, we know that you should have command over your topic but be approachable to your participants. This can keep them engaged.

*Knowledge increase/behavioral change- Did the participant learn something that they didn’t know before? Does the participant plan to change their behavior? This is similar to evaluating the usefulness of your workshop, but this time it focuses primarily on the participant. (more…)

13 Sep, 2013

Self Care Corner: Create Your “Calm Down Kit”

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T18:27:54-04:00September 13th, 2013|Categories: Self & Community Care|Tags: self care, Self Care Corner|0 Comments

In order to raise your voice for others, you have to take care of yourself first. That’s where self care comes in. If you like this tip, be sure to sign up for the Raise Your Voice newsletter to receive your copy of The Revolution Starts with Me! self care zine for more tips and self care resources.

This is a great self care exercise I spotted on the University of Texas Elementary School’s Social Work Practices blog. It’s known by several names, such as “Break Box”, “Breathe Box” and “Calm Down Kit”, and while this exercise is designed to help young people navigate their feelings with the aid of school social workers and parents, this can also be helpful for adults as well. A “calm down kit” is an example of self soothing, where taking care of yourself while in a high-stress or triggering situation is important.

Here’s how to create your Calm Down Kit:

1- Take a pencil box (You can buy these at any craft store or major store chain like Staples) or any box that can safely hold all of your items.

2- Add items to the box that aid you in becoming more aware of your surrounding, calm you down, or help you to express your feelings. You can include pens and crayons, and pieces of paper to write out what’s going through your mind, as well as items that make you feel better.

It’s that simple. If you’re stumped on what to add to your Calm Down Kit, utilize your five senses (part of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) to decide what to soothing and comforting things to place in your kit:

Smell- Candles, lotions, a small vial of fragrances or essential oils

Taste- Pieces of your favorite candy, gum, or mint

Touch- Charm, stress ball, prayer beads, Playdoh, stones or a favorite rock, a piece of jewelry, playing cards

Sight- Small journal, pictures of supportive people in your life, words of inspiration in your hand writing, images of calming scenery, bubbles

Hear- Baoding chime balls, uplifting songs that you can listen to, sounds in nature (running water, leaves blowing in the wind)

The possibilities are endless. Decorate your calm down kit however you want. If you put more effort into creating it, you’ll be more likely to use it. Do this exercise with your family, friends, peers or students. Keep it in a place where it’s easily accessible to you. Also, make sure to create your calm down kit before you actually need it.

The next self care tip with go more into using the five sense for self soothing, for when your calm down kit is not accessible to you.

RAISE YOUR VOICE: What you think about this week’s exercise? Share your insights in the comments section below. Do you have a self care resource or exercise you want to share? Contact me to have it featured in an upcoming Self Care Corner post.

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9 Sep, 2013

Planning & Facilitating Valuable Workshops (Part Three): Sharpen Your Facilitation Skills

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2023-02-08T22:09:44-05:00September 9th, 2013|Categories: Speaking & Facilitation|Tags: Facilitation, Meetings, Workshops|0 Comments

This is Part Three in a four part series in planning, facilitating, and evaluating a workshop, designed to assist you if you’re new to the world of workshop facilitation or want to find more ways to improve what you’re already doing.

In Part One, we focused on essential things to consider before planning your workshop. In Part Two, we learned how best to structure a workshop for maximum effect, using my workshop breakdown. This week, let’s focus on how to be an effective workshop facilitator. Elements from Part One and Part Two are found throughout Part Three, so make sure to read up on Parts One and Two before diving into Part Three.

While a nicely structured workshop is great, knowing how to be engaging with your workshop material and with your participants is just as important. Regardless of the format (a staff meeting, community group meeting, or an interactive workshop) or your own personality traits, you want your time with your participants to be productive and meaningful.

The role of a workshop facilitator is, in some ways, similar to the role of a symphony conductor. If you’ve ever attended a symphony concert, the conductor stands on a podium, conducting baton in hand, with her back turned to the audience. The conductor is there for a specific purpose: to make sure that that musicians stay on track, making sure that each section of the symphony is able to stand out, as well as blend in nicely with the rest of the symphony.

Like a conductor, your role as the workshop facilitator is to guide the participants as they work towards meeting the objectives of the workshop. You are there to help the participants learn about the workshop topic and to apply it to their current outlook. By putting your personal spin into the workshop, and by planning well in advanced, you can make your participants’ time in your workshop very valuable.

Before we begin, here are some common misconceptions about people who regularly facilitate workshops:

*Workshop facilitators are primarily extroverts: In my personal life, most people would say that I have an introverted personality, and it’s assumed that someone who is introverted wouldn’t want to be “in the spotlight”. While that may be true for me in certain areas of my personal life, I’m “on” when it’s time to facilitate. This doesn’t me that I’m being fake. What it means is I’m well prepared and I know what I’m talking about. Regardless of your personality, if you know your stuff, plan ahead, and are able to go with the flow when changes are needed, you can be an effective workshop facilitator.

*Workshop facilitators are the authority: You should know as much about your topic as you can, but your role as the facilitator should be more supportive rather than authoritative. Yes, you’re in front of the room and your participants will be expecting you to know more than they do on the topic; however, it’s important to show your participants that you’re there to support their thinking, encourage everyone to contribute to the discussion, and be open to the ways they process the information.

*Workshop facilitators are never anxious: Whether it’s your first time as a facilitator or your 10^th workshop, anxiety always creeps in. Concerns over whether participants will actually show up, having enough copies of handouts, and making sure that you stick to your agenda will always be at the forefront of your mind. There will always be things that are beyond your control. You’ll always deal with some level of anxiety, but try to focus on understanding the needs and the dynamics of your participants in order to help them work together to get the best out of everyone.

Now that we’ve gotten these misconceptions out of the way, let’s look at the important skills that you need to develop to be successful at workshop facilitation: (more…)

6 Sep, 2013

Self Care Corner: Write Down Your Successes

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T18:29:08-04:00September 6th, 2013|Categories: Self & Community Care|Tags: self care, Self Care Corner|0 Comments

In order to raise your voice for others, you have to take care of yourself first. That’s where self care comes in. If you like this tip, be sure to sign up for the Raise Your Voice newsletter to receive your copy of The Revolution Starts with Me! self care zine for more tips and self care resources.

It’s easy to become discouraged when you realize that the year is almost over, and you may not be further along in reaching your goals than you’d like. But when you take some time to really think about it, you have done many things to bring you closer to the goals you set for yourself this year.

A few months ago, I started to write down what I thought were some successes I’ve made towards my goals for the month. I took a sheet of paper and wrote the name of the previous month. Then I listed anything that I felt I did that month that’s brought me closer to my goals. (I also looked through my personal journal as well as in my gratitude journal iPhone app to jog my memory). It was an instant mood booster.

This weekend, take some time to write down anything that moved you closer to your goals last month. This can involve any goals you set throughout the year for school, career, health, relationships, finances, and other areas that you’ve set out to improve. For extra credit, take your successes and write down the next step for each one, and focus on that next step for the duration of this month. Not only will you see that achieving your goals are possible, it also reduces any overwhelm you may be feeling in achieving your goals.

RAISE YOUR VOICE: What you think about this week’s exercise? Share insights below in the comments. Do you have a self care resource or exercise you want to share? Contact me to have it featured in an upcoming Self Care Corner post.

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Review: “Subjectified: Nine Young Women Talk About Sex” (2013)

Planning & Facilitating Valuable Workshops (Part Four): Evaluating Your Workshop

Self Care Corner: Create Your “Calm Down Kit”

RAISE YOUR VOICE: What you think about this week’s exercise? Share your insights in the comments section below. Do you have a self care resource or exercise you want to share? Contact me to have it featured in an upcoming Self Care Corner post.

Planning & Facilitating Valuable Workshops (Part Three): Sharpen Your Facilitation Skills

Self Care Corner: Write Down Your Successes

RAISE YOUR VOICE: What you think about this week’s exercise? Share insights below in the comments. Do you have a self care resource or exercise you want to share? Contact me to have it featured in an upcoming Self Care Corner post.

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