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Back when I doing direct practice client work, I had a client who was undergoing a housing issue. The issue was at the fault of the client, and the client asked for assistance in eviction prevention.
One day while interacting with this client, the client blamed me for not doing enough to help fix the situation. I could feel the anger growing from within. When the client told me, “You don’t know what I’m going through,” I wanted so badly to remind the client that the situation was occurring because of the client’s own doing. More so, what I really wanted to say was…
“…And you don’t know what I’m going through!”
In addition to personal matters, I was dealing with the death of one of my favorite clients and the suicide of another client, of which I was asked for documentation that proved I did as much as I could to prevent the situation. I was on edge, to say the least, but luckily for the client, the situation worked itself out and the client was able to remain housed.
I’ve gotten a few emails from social workers and students over the few past months asking me share the aspects of social work I don’t like, specifically from a direct practice perspective, including dealing with difficult clients and how to stop caring about clients once the work day is over. There’s plenty of professional advice on this the you can do a quick Google search on.
But to answer the questions, my short answer is this: Establishing boundaries isn’t enough, empathy is everything until it isn’t, leaving your clients problems at the office is not easy, and clinical/direct practice social work ain’t for everybody.
You’ll hear of social workers leaving the field for a variety of reasons, but for me the answer was pivoting to another aspect of social work that better suited me.
As a disclaimer: Is what I’m about to share the case for all direct practice social workers and case managers? Not at all. In fact, everything you learn in clinical studies and practice—engagement, assessment, planning, implementation, evaluation, termination, and follow-up—translates to most social work positions, and is the model I use with my consulting clients. So I did learn a thing or two while working in direct practice.
When I landed my case management position 3 months after graduation from my masters program, I was just happy to be employed. When I first started, I had a caseload of around 25-30 clients. By the time I left nearly 6 years later, I had close to 90 clients.
That may not seem like a lot, but having to engage with 90 clients (and their providers and emergency contacts) on a monthly basis was taxing. It did a literal number on my self care, self esteem, and my desire to remain in the this work.
The person who was in my position prior to me joining the agency had been there for about 2 months before quitting. One of the concerns of hiring me was that management was concerned about my leaving as well. I was determined to prove my staff wrong, that I had what it took to stay as long as possible.
There are the external expectations placed on us by clients and supervisors, and then there are internal expectations placed on ourselves. Starting out, I ran myself to the point of exhaustion trying to prove my clients and my staff wrong, that they could count on me and that I wasn’t like the other social workers they’ve worked with in the past. And it was also difficult not to think of clients past working hours, or even to bring work home. At times, I would arrive an hour early to get work done in the office, and stay an hour late. Negative interactions with clients and staff would spill over into my personal life to the point where I would call out often. When you’re calling out of the office often and have the desire to blow up at your clients, it’s time to reevaluate.
Which brings me back to my client with the housing situation and empathy. You don’t have to have personally gone through something in order to understand the stress, uncertainty, and fear that a client is facing. Expressing empathy builds a understanding with your client.
In that moment with this client, I didn’t care. The client wanted to be transferred to a new social worker, and I too wanted this client to be transferred.
Of course, going off on clients isn’t the most professional option, and while I did fantasize about telling my clients off, I opted instead of work on strengthening professional boundaries, setting expectations, being honest with my supervisor about my frustrations, and using my PTO days. But again, this isn’t enough.
You can empathize as much as you can, but like many of us, some clients navigate the world through a particular lens based on past experiences. When we’ve been treated unfairly, or when we feel that we aren’t getting the help we’re looking for, we create the expectation of that this situation will always be the case. In fact, I had clients tell me they fully expected I wouldn’t be able to help them because “no one has helped in the past.” This is also exacerbated by clients who may be dealing with mental illness, substance use, chronic homelessness, and more.
In social work, it’s important to be honest about where you are professionally and if what you’re doing in meaningful to YOU. I stayed in that position longer than I should have because I didn’t want to disappoint my clients and staff by leaving, but I knew for my professional development and quality of life, I had to move on. But a funny thing happened when I submitted my letter of resignation: My clients were fine with me, and my staff congratulated me.
So, starting a business wasn’t just about being my own boss. Building up my consulting practice and eventually transitioning out of my direct practice role was the best thing for myself as well as my clients, however. I realized that I was doing my clients a disservice by remaining in a position that I no longer had a passion for.
It’s a difficult position to be in to lose empathy for your clients, regardless of what you’re personally dealing with. While I do still work with clients, my time in direct practice work taught me that there’s no one way to be a social worker. It’s also taught me that professional boundaries, having empathy, and really walking away from your work at the end of the work day is done are just as important for non-clinical social workers. In fact, at times it’s difficult to know where Nicole Clark Consulting ends and Nicole Clark the person begins, and I believe it’ll be something I will continue to navigate for some time.
There are other aspects of social work I don’t care for, but that’s another blog post for another day.
