After 11 years in New York City, I moved to Washington, DC, on December 30, 2019.
I’ve only been here for about 2 weeks, but in that short time, I’ve been asked a variation of the question above.
This has been a decision I debated for over a year, and understanding the privilege I have of being self-employed with no dependents and having the ability to pick up and go, it was a decision I didn’t take likely but also a decision that I wanted to make unapologetically.
For the past 2-3 years, I traveled between my home away from home (New York City) and my actual home (Atlanta), and in the process, I realized that something was missing in both locations.
I relocated from Atlanta to New York City in August 2008 for graduate school, and while the plan was to only be there to complete my degree, I decided to stay because I felt that there was something I needed to prove to not only myself to everyone else. I wanted to prove that I could make it away from home, and while there were plenty of hiccups along the way, I succeeded in that.
I went from seeing New York City as the only place I could ever see myself to realizing that, as exciting as the city is, I needed to be in a place that has a slower pace. But when I would go home, I didn’t feel that I belong there any more than I did in New York.
I also noticed my quality of life started to take a dive. For many, the cost of living, housing, job opportunities, schools, and more play a factor in measuring a city’s quality of life, but for me, I wanted mentally present anymore in both New York and Atlanta.
So, why Washington, DC? Ultimately, I chose DC because it represented to me something I no longer had in New York and I couldn’t find in Atlanta.
I wanted a new beginning.
And like Goldilocks, when New York started to become too much and Atlanta felt not enough, being in DC feels just right.
I’ve shared often about living and working as both a social worker and a consultant in New York City here on my blog and via my social media platforms. But this blog post isn’t about the pros and cons of living in New York or Atlanta as these experiences are very subjective. Plus, you can always Google that to find out how others feel about either city.
It’s very fitting that I started the last start of a decade (2009) completing my first year in New York, and closed out the decade with the decision to move to DC. It was a decision that was over a year in the making.
For a while, I noticed two things: 1) I couldn’t figure out the motivating factors drawing me to this location and 2) I didn’t feel confident about making the decision.
First, after some reflection, I realized that outside of New York and Atlanta, I travel often to DC and it’s been a healthy balance of business and personal travel compared to the mostly business travel I do elsewhere. I can navigate the DC easily and I’ve always felt comfortable in DC. Plus, DC has always held a special place in my heart as I’ve associated it with the beginnings of my activism.
But when I remembered the first time I visited DC. I had joined Advocates for Youth’s MySistahs online youth peer website and the Young Women of Color Leadership Council. AFY holds an annual Urban Retreat, a weekend of training for its new and returning youth activists. I was in my early 20s and it was my third time outside of the south (with two trips in high school to New York preceding it). AFY staff picked us up from the airport, brought us to the hotel, and gave us the option of doing an evening tour of the National Mall. While walking back from the tour, I remember feeling excited about the neighborhood we were walking through (Foggy Bottom) and admiring the home along the way. In subsequent visits, I figured out how to use the Metro (If you can navigate New York’s MTA, you can pretty much figure out other US-based transit systems), realized that DC consisted of four quadrants (and as long as you knew the quadrant you needed to be in, you should be fine), and liked exploring on my own. One day, I was standing near the White House and made the mistake of eyeing the Washington Monument, thinking that it wasn’t far from where I was and walked the full 20 minutes to get there. This was before I moved to New York and became a pro at walking fast.
Second, I’ve always tried to be a logical person and felt that I needed a WHY for moving to DC. There was an actual reason why I moved to New York, so DC just seemed…random. So, I spent over a year trying to figure out what to tell people only to land on my WHY being because I simply wanted a new beginning. Plus, DC felt like a good compromise because wanting to be in an exciting place that felt familiar and nestled in between two cities that I love but didn’t want to live in anymore. My family will always be in Atlanta and I still have professional commitments in New York, so I’ll still be in and out.
The catalyst to standing firm in my decision to move was a YouTube video by Candace Thoth. She had a similar experience of wanting to move first to Hawaii from St. Louis, Missouri, and second to Maui. After turning down a Ph.D. program that would have relocated her to Hawaii, she ended up finding a better solution to make it there. Now, when deciding to move to Maui, she spent 8 months wavering on whether it was the best decision for her…until she decided to stop wavering and just gave herself permission to have the life she wanted. Candace says sometimes it may take a while to experience something you want, but the issue is that we’re not committed to the actual decision. Is this ok? Is it ok for me to want this? She says when we firmly decide and don’t waver, things fall into place, and I noticed this was the case for me.
So, that’s it. I wanted a new beginning in a city I’m familiar with between two cities I hold dear. And so far, I’m happy. I don’t compare DC to Atlanta or New York because each city has something special to offer to the person that calls it home. I firmly believe that everyone should have the opportunity to live outside of their hometown at least once in their lifetime, for however long you decide to stay. I’m excited to reconnect with my friends that live in the DMV area, do some exploring, and get to know myself as a social worker and consultant in DC. How long will I stay here? Who knows. But when you want a new beginning, just make the decision.
Raise Your Voice: Have you ever wavered in making a decision? What was the catalyst that finally got you over the hurdle? Share below in the comments section.
