Have you ever deconstructed the lyrics to a song?
I did that recently with Beyoncé’s Ring the Alarm from her 2006 album B’Day. In particular, the chorus/hook of the song.
If you’re not familiar, Ring the Alarm is about a woman contemplating whether to persist with a relationship that isn’t serving her versus walking away into the unknown (or in this case, with the understanding that she may be giving up on things that she’s grown accustomed to. Like Chinchilla coats, a Benz and the house off the coast, among other things.
Let’s look at it from a logic standpoint versus an emotional standpoint.
Logically, it doesn’t make sense to stay with someone that’s not treating you with respect. But emotionally, we’ve all lived through experiences where giving something up (in this case, a relationship) feels far scarier than ending it and going it alone. Plus, who wants to start all over?
I was asked recently if I’d ever gotten to a point where I wanted to call it quits from my consulting business. Yes I’ve gotten to this point plenty of times! I was also asked how did I know to stick with it.
Logically, I knew that I could always get another job. I had been with my agency for almost 6 years and it took around 3 months to land that position after graduating from my MSW program. Now that I’m a licensed social worker, I assumed it would take roughly the same amount of time or even less.
Emotionally, I’ve put a lot of time and effort into building my business and despite knowing what I logically know, it would be hard to let it go.
I realized it’s less about the time and effort you give to something. It’s about identifying your perceived return on investment (ROI). Here’s another way to illustrate this:
Y’all already know how much I don’t care for the response to proposals (RFP) process. However, I’m not completely opposed to them.
I prioritize my client work and personal projects over responding to RFPs. However, I do allot around 8 hours a month to responding to RFPs that look interesting.
Several months ago, I went through an RFP process that had multiple hoops I jumped through in order to be considered. Multiple revisions to the proposal, getting on the phone with the prospective client to discuss it, me being interviewed by the staff, etc.
In the middle of this process, another organization contacted me. They were looking for a consultant to do the exact same work that was outlined for the RFP I responded to. The timeline was roughly the same, they gave me a budget (which was higher than the other client’s RFP budget), and all my travel and lodging expenses would be covered (which was missing from the RFP).
More importantly, they explained to me why they believed I was the person for the job based on recommendations from their colleagues, my blog posts and social media presence, and our shared goals of equity, inclusion, and to bettering the lives of women and girls of color. I think they actually spent more time explaining why they felt they were a good client for me!
So, I went with this project. I contacted the RFP client and requested to be withdrawn from consideration. Ironically, I was told that I was one of the top candidates.
I weighed starting with the new client while continuing on with the RFP process with the other client. That would increase my chances of landing two contracts, right?
But I thought about how each interaction with the RFP client left me feeling confused and frustrated, and how their RFP process was ridiculously long. Plus, there was no guarantee I would even be selected even if I was a top candidate.
I stood firm in my decision to withdraw. Turns out, they selected a colleague of mine who told me after the project ended that it was one of the worst client experience they’ve had. Meanwhile, I went on to work on a great project with a great client organization, so there’s that.
You can work hard at something for a very long time and see no tangible benefits. You can also work at something for a short amount of time and see significant results. Your ROI is based on your perception.
We’re always weighing the pros and cons to look for a better opportunity. If there’s anything that can help you with this, ask yourself:
Would my future self be happy with my decision or filled with regret?
Sometimes the answer is obvious, while you may have to think more deeply about others. If your future self will be happy with your decision to give up, then do it. If not, consider hanging on.
But it all comes down to your perceived ROI.
Raise Your Voice: Think about a tough decision you recently made. How did you know when to persist or to give up? Share below in the comments section.
