During the summer of 2010, I was in the throes of my first job after graduating from my graduate program.
I was running out of money and couldn’t afford my apartment any longer due to my roommate moving out. I ended up moving out and placing my belongings in storage.
When you’re unemployed, running out of money, trying to find a job in a profession that you’ve only studied and didn’t have real experience in, and living in a stressful place like New York City, you’re tired, to say the least.
The best part about that time is having friends who opened their homes to me and invited me over to eat. On this summer day, the friend I was staying with invited me to join her and some of our grad school classmates for a day at the beach.
A beach in New York? Yes. Though I can’t remember which beach we tried to go to. “Tried” is the operative word, as we tried getting there by car and ended up getting stuck in traffic for hours before turning back around.
As my friend and I were getting ready to leave, I remember how excited I was. I needed a break from applying to positions where I never got a response back and getting “thanks, but no thanks” emails from recruiters.
I want to feel normal, even if it is for a day, I thought.
When you don’t have a permanent home to feel safe in, to cook for yourself in, to have your belongings surrounding you, or to have your mail delivered to, it’s pretty difficult to care about anything else. I could have easily asked my family to book a flight for me so that I could go home to Atlanta, but I was too stubborn for that. I have a Masters degree now, I thought, and I need to find a way to make this work.
Flash forward to December of that year. After a summer of struggle, I managed to land a job as a clinical case manager and had been on the job since August. I also moved into my first apartment without roommates at the start of December. Toward the middle of the month, my agency held its annual holiday party for clients.
During the party, I was standing with a few of my coworkers as we watched our clients eat and enjoy themselves and their families. I spotted several of my clients, many of whom tend to be in crisis mode when I would have regular appointments with them.
But on this day, they were fine. In fact, I met with one of my clients the next day. When I asked her if she enjoyed the holiday party, she said:
“I loved it! I love coming to the holiday party every year because when I’m there, I feel normal. Even if it’s just for a day.”
For many of us, the difficult times we go through are temporary. For others, they last much longer.
Sometimes we do these things because we want to feel normal and they make us feel good, even if it’s for just a day because our daily existence can be tiring.
Before we judge what someone is going through, let’s ask if there’s something they need in order to feel good today. It could be being invited to the beach, or to a holiday party, or just asking how they are feeling.
After all, tomorrow’s another day. It never hurts to do something kind for someone else.
Raise Your Voice: In what ways do you show compassion to others? Share below in the comments section.
