9 May, 2012

Self Love is the Best Love: National Masturbation Month

By |2021-08-19T17:45:29-04:00May 9th, 2012|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: |0 Comments

May is the month of many awareness days, in particular National Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month and National HIV Vaccine Awareness Day. But did you know that May is also National Masturbation Month? It’s ok. Many people don’t know because, like masturbation itself, no one wants to acknowledge something that’s so commonly practiced.

How did National Masturbation Month come about?

According to EmpowHer, National Masturbation Month was coined in response to the 1995 resignation of United States Surgeon general, Dr. Joycelyn Elders. During a 1994 World AIDS Day event at the United Nations, Dr. Elders, in response to an audience member’s question about whether masturbation can be instrumental in delaying the onset of early sexual activity in young people, said: “I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”

Things didn’t fair well for Dr. Elders, who later was forced to resign in 1995. But the positive is that Dr. Elders is still highly revered and vocal about discussing “taboo” and “difficult” subjects, especially when it comes to sex and sexuality. Another positive is that we have National Masturbation Month! The purpose of National Masturbation Month, for the people who coined it, was to not only raise awareness about the firing of Dr. Elders, but to also get people talking about something that people refuse to acknowledge that they do: masturbate.

What are some of the myths about masturbation?

One of the reasons why masturbation is such a taboo thing to discuss is due to shame and stigma associated with self-pleasuring. Here are some myths I’ve heard along the way about masturbation:

You’ll go blind.

Your mental health will be compromised.

You’ll grow hair on your hands.

You’re some kind of pervert.

It’s only something you do if you’re not in a relationship, and if you do it too often, you’re screwing (no pun intended) up your sexual functioning.

You won’t be able to perform sexually with another person.

Now that we have those myths out of the way, what are some benefits to masturbation? There are plenty! Here are some physical and psychological reasons: (more…)

5 Apr, 2012

Can We Love God & Sex?: Religion, Media, & Young Women’s Sexuality

By |2021-08-19T17:43:51-04:00April 5th, 2012|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: , |0 Comments

 

Over the past weekend, I attended the MOMENTUM Conference: Making Waves in Sexuality, Feminism, and Relationships in Washington, DC, to facilitate a workshop entitled “Can We Love God and Sex?: Young Women, the Media, and Making Room for Sexuality & Spirituality”.

This was my first time attending the MOMENTUM Conference, and I was glad that my workshop was accepted because the media and how we’re portrayed affect us all, and many of us may have grown up in households where religion was also encouraged and practiced. I wasn’t quite sure how the workshop would pan out (I technically put the workshop fully together 24 hours before I was scheduled to present), plus I’d never presented on such a complex topic before. I wanted to facilitate the workshop based on my own personal experiences. Even in my adult years, I still continue to work through my “stuff”: trying to remain a critical thinker in a society where it’s very easy to become influenced by what you see and read. When I was younger, I held onto the notion of being “the good girl”, and I was often told that I was the good girl. I wanted to continue to live up to that expectation, and I think in some ways we all want to live up to an image that is pleasing to others, and shows us in a favorable light.

Yet a few of my workshop attendees asked: What exactly is a “good girl”?

In the United States, we live in a contradictory society regarding sex and sexuality. Women are expected to remain virtuous until their wedding night while men are encouraged to be sexually experienced prior to marriage. Young men can be praised for their sexual prowess by having sexual relations with multiple young women, yet young women (and older women, for that matter) are expected to have as few sexual partners as possible to avoid be labeled a whore or a slut. (And not only does this confuses young women, it also places an unfair burden on young men who may feel pressure to live out this expectation).

And when you add the influence of the media into the equation, it all just sucks.

Sex is everywhere: magazines, books, television, music, film, and other forms of media. Sex is taboo in American society, yet many forms of media highlight unprotected sex…or, in the extreme sense, it stresses refraining from sexual activity until you’re married (with no mention of learning about how your body functions, contraception, what to do when you don’t want to remain pregnant, or encouraging preventative methods against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs.)

Instead of discussing the relationship between religious/spiritual views on sex and sexuality and how women and girls are portrayed in the media, many often go to great lengths to keep religion/spirituality and images of women in the media distanced from each other. This is often problematic for women and girls of color. Stereotyped images in the media of Black and Latino women in particular often emphasize the extremes—from the Black “video vixen” and “hot” Latina, to the Bible-toting mother of the Black Church and the rosary-clutching Latina Catholic—increasing the denial of voices to be heard on how we view our sexuality and spirituality. Although women have made great strides in advocating for positive images of women and of sex and sexuality to include that, indeed, sex is not “dirty” or “sinful”, the mindset that “good girls don’t have sex” is still deeply rooted.

Still the question remains; What exactly is a “good girl”? (more…)

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