30 May, 2012

Lifting Up & Supporting Teen Mothers

By |2021-08-19T17:48:05-04:00May 30th, 2012|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: , |0 Comments

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May is Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month, and while organizations, programs, and governmental entities are spending millions of dollars and much of their time trying to prevent teenage pregnancy, young people who are already pregnant and have chosen to carry to term continue to experience stigma. Many young mothers, especially young moms of color, can face increasing difficult societal problems such as poverty, lack of educational opportunities, unequal access to quality health care, age discrimination, and lack of support for their new role as mothers.

Is becoming a parent as an adult easier than becoming a parent as a teenager? Well…I’m sure we have all think of at least one adult who became a parent as an adult, yet who are just as incapable of taking care of a human life as we make young parents out to be.

Is it easier to be a teenager without having to deal with parenting a child? It was for me. As a teenager, I thought about the many things that I believed parenting a child at a young age would keep me from doing (college, a great job, travel, etc.) But we are increasingly seeing many young mothers who, despite the odds, are surviving, their children are healthy, and they are surrounded by people who support them.

Are we inadvertently allowing stigma and shame to frame how we respond to teen pregnancy? Yes. In New York City and in other cities nationally, “pregnancy schools” were created in an attempt to shield young pregnant high school students from the stigma associated with teen pregnancy, with many of them closing due to lack of success.

Can stigma and shock value lessen the number of teen pregnancies? Sure. I mean, it’s been working for the anti-smoking campaigns and obesity advertisements that have been popping up in recent months. But it doesn’t always work. Just look at how the government continues to give millions of money to abstinence-until-marriage programs that continue to be proven ineffective.

So, what can we do to lift up and support teen mothers?

We need to do what we can to make sure that young women know all of their options, and if becoming a mother is the best option they make for themselves, then we have to support them in that. It may not be easy, but seeking out supportive services together is a heck of a lot better than lecturing a young woman on birth control, condoms, and abstinence AFTER she’s already received a positive pregnancy test.

We need to develop more programming, services, and innovative strategies that help young women who are already mothers or expecting mothers. And they need the funding to match. Organizations such as Insight Teen Parent Program, Massachusetts Alliance on Teen Pregnancy, The Generations Program  , New Moms, Planned Parenthood, Healthy Teen Network, Strong Families, and FamilyWorks are doing a lot of amazing work for teen parents. (We also need to provide just as much support to young fathers as well.)

Most importantly, we need to find a way to lift the stigma associated with becoming a teen parent. With ample support, resources, positive adult involvement, and peer education, young parents can do what they need to do for the betterment of themselves and their children. Instead of shaming and blaming pregnant teens and teen mothers, let’s focus on making sure they get to their prenatal appointments, help them buy baby supplies, and even accompanying them to parenting classes.

Are we better off becoming parents when we feel we are ready (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.)? Yeah. Is it easier for girls to not have to worry about all of this in their teen years? Of course. I’m not advocating that everybody run out and become a teen parent. What I’m advocating for is compassion and accountability. The support that teen mothers can receive can make the difference between a teen mother that beats the odds stacked against her and a teen mother who doesn’t succeed.

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31 Oct, 2011

Guest Post: B is for Baby…C is for Crazy

By |2021-08-19T17:32:02-04:00October 31st, 2011|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: , |0 Comments

 

This week, I am bringing to you a wonderful piece by my friend and awesome mommy, Candace Salim, founder and expert connector for MNGR Consulting . I’m really excited that Candace expressed interest in sharing her voice and birthing experience. Be sure to follow Candace on Twitter . 

It’s the beginning of the end…of that long, seemingly 2-year pregnancy you’ve been dealing with. The Braxton-Hicks contractions, the rolly-polly move you have to do to get out of bed to pee again, and most importantly the mood swings! Yes, the way our moods swing, jump, and pounce during pregnancy can really change our perceptions of life and the ways that people perceive us. But, despite all of the hormone-driven feelings that we endure, we are still ourselves. Before being a Mommy-to-be, we were career-driven and successful. We were intelligent and assured…people actually listened to us! However, towards the end of our third trimester, most people see us as bumbling idiots who are obviously dealing with some imaginary mental condition called pregnancy. And, in that, many people take that to mean that we are incompetent and enraged (especially after a 24-hour labor process) so they have to make our decisions for us towards the end. But wait *record scratch* when did our partners, our Mothers, and the hospital staff become experts on OUR bodies? Despite the fact that during my 36-hour labor, I was practically blowing great balls of fire while in the birthing center, I was desperately trying to let those around me know that I was actually still coherent enough to make my own decisions. But, in a show of “expertise”, the nurses took my well drawn out birthing plan that I’d neatly written in my school teacher hand writing on a large note pad and threw it out of the room. Apparently, they didn’t need any help or advice from me. In our day and age, if you’ve yanked one baby out of a womb, you’ve yanked ‘em all and the Mother should just sit there and enjoy her happy drug aka “The Epidural” aka “The Big Needle Thingy In Your Back”.

So, what’s a first-time Mother to do when one of the most intensely beautiful days of her life is suddenly swarmed with bright lights, drone machine sounds, and IVs?

(more…)

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