I first came across Dr. Ruth C. White a few years ago through a travel platform. We connected via social media, and I discovered that she’s not only a fellow social worker; she also has a passion for helping others take control over the stressors that can impact everyday life.

Ruth has been very transparent is sharing her story of writing her doctoral dissertation at the University of California at Berkeley, while teaching classes at San Francisco State University, working part time at a research institute, and being a mother and wife to her daughter and husband. Ruth eventually ended up being admitted to the hospital due to stress she faced. 

What’s different about Ruth’s story is that, instead of returning to the status quo, Ruth decided to do a deep dive into how to live a happier life while managing life’s stressors. Ruth used medication in her recovery, but she also wanted to focus on how to behave her way to mental wellbeing.  

Ruth reached out to me a few weeks ago to offer me the opportunity to review her latest workbook, The Stress Management Workbook: De-stress in 10 Minutes or Less. (Althea Press, 2018)

Ruth claims that The Stress Management Workbook: De-stress in 10 Minutes or Less will “teach you how to keep your brain sharp, improve your mind’s response to stress, and develop strategies for minimizing stress in your life. You will learn to keep anxiety at bay, reduce the likelihood of depression, and keep yourself calm, centered, and in control of your emotions and your psyche. You will gain the knowledge and skills to perform better at work, be a better friend, parent, partner, and colleague, sleep better, increase your endurance, and be healthier in both mind and body.”

In a fast-paced world that doesn’t appear to be slowing down anytime soon, I’m always on the hunt for new and more effective ways to de-stress (and to do it as efficiently as possible.) So, Ruth’s workbook is right up my alley. And I’m all for testing out any claim that will have me feeling de-stressed in under 10 minutes.  

The basics

The focus of Ruth’s workbook is “fast and sustainable stress reduction”. Meaning, there’s no focus on diagnosis or treatment; rather, the focus is on providing concrete exercises to use in the moment to tackle a stressor you may be feeling, all in under 10 minutes.  

Emphasis on the word “workbook”. Meaning, you actually have to do the work, as opposed to reading it and then placing it on your bookshelf next to the other books whose ideas we had the best intentions of implementing but never got around to it. 

In “Part One: Before You Begin”, the workbook starts with a chapter identifying the sources, symptoms, triggers, and the patterns that lead up to stress. In Part Two: The Exercises”, you’re presented with three sets of exercises divided into one-, five-, and ten-minute increments, as well as strategies for long-term relief. The exercises are a combination of quizzes, checklists, and writing exercises. 

What stands out

Ruth presents a well thought-out workbook that’s easy to navigate. The workbook is also a reminder of the saying, “You can’t control what others do, but you can control how you respond to it.” Knowing this allows you to be more present, mindful, and in control of how you react to a stressor. 

A great example of this is when Ruth shares sitting in her car while in traffic with her daughter. Ruth’s initial response to being in this stressful situation was to yell at the other drivers. Her daughter, who was three years old at the time, told her that the other drivers couldn’t hear her. That realization caused Ruth to realize that yelling at the other derives wasn’t going to make the traffic go by any faster, so she chose instead to do something she did have control over: listen to an oldies radio station. 

I also enjoy how Ruth places a key emphasis on identifying how we experience stress, noting that what may be stressful for one person may be exhilarating for another. 

For example, I know that procrastination is not the best, but I also know that I tend to be more focused when I’m under some form of pressure. So I have to find a good balance between being productive with my time and not being completely under the gun. 

In Part One, Ruth breaks the chapter into two sections: Sources of Stress and  Symptoms of Stress. The first section under Sources of Stress that resonated with me most was on work-life balance. Since I work for myself, I have the flexibility of rolling out of bed whenever I want to get my day started, and since I work from home on most days, a daily commute is almost nonexistent. While I do enjoy that, I often feel isolated so I make it a point to get out and go to a local coffee shop, the library, or join other freelancers and solopreneuers for a monthly working session. While a morning commute isn’t a great source of stress for me, I sometimes feel the pressure of making sure I’m getting client work done on time. Also, some days I work better in the mornings, others it’s in the afternoon, or late into the evening. All of my clients have 9-5 hours, and I do wonder if they feel I’m not responsive because I may not share the same working hours. 

The second section was on social media and technology. While social media can be a great source of connection, networking, and information sharing, it can also cause us to experience FOMO (fear of missing out), the need to compare ourselves to others, and to sometimes pretend to be something we’re not. Not to mention trolling and arguing with complete strangers. The stressful thing about social media and technology is that it gives the perception that we’re always accessible, and that people demand that accessibility. 

The third section—which is my favorite—is on identifying internal stressors. Sometimes the stress we feel often comes from within. For me, it’s the feeling of sometimes not feeling good enough, being anxious when flying, or even being in some social situations. I really appreciated this section. Though it feels like internal stressors are easier to navigate compared to external stressors, feeling out of control doesn’t…well, feel good. Ruth encourages you to write out your observations about your internal stressors by including a few writing prompts. 

In Symptoms of Stress, Ruth breaks down the mind-body connection to stress (physical, emotional/psychological, and behavioral). Depending on the stressor, I may experience shallow breathing, muscle tension and headaches (physical), anxiety (motional/psychological), or eating more (especially junk food), sleeping more, or distracting myself with Candy Crush (behavioral). This section ends with a writing exercise that explores the patterns that cause us to have a stress response. By understanding the patterns, Ruth says this will help you determine which stress management techniques you should use in the workbook. 

Before going into Part Two, Ruth breaks down the goals you may want to achieve to de-stress:

• Achieve calm
• Stop a headache
• Release muscle tension
• Improve focus and mental performance
• Prepare for the stressful event
• Get better sleep
• Feel more optimistic
• Feel happier
• Burn nervous energy
• Get rid of frustration
• Distract yourself
• Feel productive

In Part Two, Ruth takes these goals and give one-minute, five-minute, and ten-minute exercises you can do to achieve your de-stressing goal. Here are some example:

One minute: Visualizations, naming your stress (e.g., “My boss is stressing me out!), breathing, counting combinations (countdown from 100, count to 50 by odd numbers, etc.), closing your eyes, drinking water, stretching, etc.

Five minutes: Focus for five (doing an activity for five minutes), putting stress in its place (remember how you overcame a similar stressful situation), developing a playlist of mood lifting music, having a snack break, carving out a time to worry, etc.)

Ten minutes: Move around for ten minutes, journaling, yoga poses, watching viral videos, taking a shower, playing with play-doh or coloring, etc. 

When I need immediate stress relief, I do deep breathing, inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 5 counts, and exhaling for 8 counts (one minute). When I have five minutes to devote to de-stressing, I like to listen to my favorite songs. For this workbook, I tried the “Focus for Five” exercise, by loading up the dishwasher and decluttering my desk space (for a total of five minutes.) My favorite ten minute exercise was journaling (which happens to be my all-time favorite way to de-stress anyway). 

Ruth also recommends creating a “Source of Stress” chart. One the left side, write out the source of your stress, and on the right side, write out the exercises from the workbook you will use and how much time you want to devote to the exercise. 

What I’m curious about 

I’m most curious about how students, especially students studying to go into often stressful professions like social work and public health, can utilize this workbook. If I would have had Ruth’s workbook while in grad school, I would have been more prepared to deal with school and field placement stressors. I can definitely see this workbook being added to program reading requirements. I’m also curious to see how parents and teachers can benefit from teaching the concepts in this workbook to elementary students. 

For me, I’m most curious about how I can really utilize my Sources of Stress chart. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes it’s easier to read concepts like these, forget about them, and then resort to unhealthy and non-useful ways of coping with stress. I have my chart written out as a Google Document and saved to my Google Drive for easy access. I can also print out my chart and post near my desk, or even share it with friends and family members to hold me accountable. 

Final reflection 

The Stress Management Workbook: De-stress in 10 Minutes or Less  is a great and informative read, and given its format, it’s easy to finish in one sitting. It provides a very mindful way of addressing stressful situations with kindness, while also providing creative and effective strategies to de-stress in under 10 minutes. The Stress Management Workbook: De-stress in 10 Minutes or Less is available in paperback or Kindle.