Equity & Justice Archives - Page 11 of 12

25 Oct, 2011

Teens, Sex Tapes & Why We’ve Got to Do Better

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:31:11-04:00October 25th, 2011|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: Youth|0 Comments

I’m not sure how to begin this post. So, I’ll start by asking some questions:

1) Why would an adult want to watch a child performing a sexual act on tape?

2) Have you ever performed a sexual act on someone? (and)

3) Do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were not taped in the process?

4) Why do we know the name of the young girl…but not the names of the young boys who set her up?

5) She asked if being called “supa head 2” was considered a good or bad thing?

These were some of the questions I had as I read up on internet articles, Facebook, and Twitter on the incident involving a 14-year-old young girl who was secretly videotaped performing oral sex on a classmate. If you’re not sure what it is I’m referring to, click here, here, here, and also here.

At first, I didn’t want to write a post on this, but I decided to wait until now to do so. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m angry. I’m angry because another young woman of color somehow got into a sad predicament that could have potentially ruined her life. I’m angry because I saw grown people searching for the footage to watch (Isn’t that child pornography?) I’m angry because I’m also saw grown people (including women) calling this child a hoe, slut and every other name in the book for doing something that (I’m 99.999% sure) these adults have done before only they may have believed they weren’t being taped while doing it. I’m angry because the mainstream media is not focusing on this story more and it probably doesn’t resonate with mainstream America because this child doesn’t have blond hair and blue eyes. I’m angry because this is another example of what could potentially happen when our young girls go looking for validation in the arms of boys that don’t care about them. I’m angry at everyone who thinks this situation is funny. I’m angry at just how much this story lives up to the double standards: that boys will be boys and that girls are “just supposed to know better”. I’m also angry because I do feel sorry for these boys as well. They may not be called the hurtful names as this young woman is being called, but they too are being exploited.

What is the solution here? What can we do as adults to decrease the likelihood of incidences like this from occurring in the future? For one, we can stop sending mixed messages to young people about sex and sexuality. We can put the blame all we want on the media, rappers, models, music, videos, pop culture, social media, and magazines all we want, but young people are looking to the adults in their lives on how to behave.

My answers to the questions? :

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4 Oct, 2011

Street Harassment Stops When Men Say It Stops

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:29:25-04:00October 4th, 2011|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: Street Harassment|0 Comments

The SlutWalk movement has taken over the world (or at least many major cities such as New York City, Toronto, Denver, and even in Delhi, India) and many believe that it has become one of the most successful feminist actions in the last 20 years. For those of you that haven’t heard of the movement, the first SlutWalk happened in April 2011 in Toronto, Canada after Canadian Constable Michael Sanguinetti, during a January 2011 York University campus safety forum stated that in order for women to be more safe, they should “avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

For many women of color (myself included) the term “slut” doesn’t really conjure up the same type of emotions as perhaps “bitch” or “hoe”, but regardless of whatever term is used, the premise is still the same: we are living in a society that tells women that not only are we the weaker sex, but that we are responsible for making sure that men don’t attack, assault, harass, stalk or rape us. That’s a pretty tall order.

SlutWalk may be the “it” thing right now, but there has been an anti-street harassment movement brewing over the last several years. From The Line Campaign to Hollaback!, women are proclaiming that it’s time for men to really take a step back and realize the behaviors that they and their peers are participating in. Yet the sad thing about it is that women shouldn’t even be the ones leading this effort. How many women do you know stand on corners and stare at and try to speak to every man that walks by? How many women do you know will tell a man that if he weren’t outside at a certain time of night/weren’t wearing certain types of clothing/weren’t drunk/weren’t trying to flirt that it’s his fault for whatever happens to him? No, I don’t think it’s women’s responsibility to tell men that this type of behavior is inappropriate. No, I don’t think that women should live in fear or in annoyance when they see a group of men standing on the corner. And no, I don’t think women should be the main ones marching by the thousands to tell men just how ridiculous their logic is for thinking that a woman deserves to be sexually assaulted or called out her name due to what she’s wearing or how she turns down a man’s advances. Street harassment and all violence against women will stop once men decide to stand up and declare that it stops.

*Where is my soap box?*

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28 Sep, 2011

What Young Women of Color Really Want

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:27:31-04:00September 28th, 2011|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: Youth|0 Comments

This weekend, I attended the Congressional Black Caucus’ 41st Annual Legislative Conference (ALC) where I spoke on a panel about African American women and reproductive healthcare and rights. I was recommended by Advocates for Youth , and invited by Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA). This panel, sponsored by PPFA, was the first of its kind at this ALC as no panel about reproductive health has been presented before. I’m excited to have been a part of it, and even more excited that it was a packed room filled with congressional members, constituents, and students who were interested in what this panel had to say.

I was charged to speak on young women and reproductive health activism. I was on a panel with esteemed individuals such as Loretta Ross (National Coordinator of SisterSong ), Dr. Vanessa Cullins (Vice President for Medical Affairs for PPFA), Rev. Alethea Smith-Withers (Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice), and Jill Morrison (National Women’s Law Center). The panel was moderated by comedienne Aisha Tyler and actress Gabrielle Union, both whom are active spokeswomen for PPFA (and Aisha is on their board of directors). It was awesome see so many African American women and men in the room who care about this issue, and even more awesome that Planned Parenthood is devoting time and attention to hearing the voices of the African American community through their African Americans for Planned Parenthood Initiative (and there’s also a Latinos for Planned Parenthood Initiative). It’s always great to see African Americans galvanizing around Planned Parenthood, especially women. The men who were in the room, for the most part, were receptive (except for these two African American men who were planted (so to speak) in the audience to bring negative attention to Planned Parenthood and the “genocide” of African American babies (…and that’s another blog post entirely).

This is a portion of what I told the audience during the panel. I didn’t come with statistics or data, but I did come with an agenda: to help more adults hear the voices of the young African American women and girls whom I have worked with and worked alongside in the past several years. Oftentimes, we adults tend to bring in our own agendas on what we feel young women want. We create these programs and initiatives that we feel “speak” to young women, but all they do is demean them, trivialize their voices, and use entirely too many slang words that are just embarrassing. While it would have been better to have a younger person on this panel to really get to the essence of what young women of color really want, I feel honored to do what I could to make the adults in the room hear them. This is what young women of color really want:

Why Am I Passionate about Reproductive Justice? (The Story of Me) (more…)

31 Aug, 2011

I Blame My Mama (…or How I Got into the Sexual Health Movement)

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:28:14-04:00August 31st, 2011|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: Parent-Child Communication, Youth|0 Comments

I am often asked about my decision to become an advocate for sexual and reproductive rights. Before I became involved in this line of work through volunteering and activism in college, I didn’t think much about these issues. In fact, I entered college to study music. Classical music, to be exact. I began playing the violin during the 6th grade, and I carried my love of music with me until my sophomore year of college. My mother was perhaps my biggest supporter, attending all of my concerts and recitals, driving me to my private violin lessons, dropping me off at orchestra auditions, and taking me to the music store to buy new strings or sheet music. I spent 10 years prepping myself for a career in music, and everyone else thought I was headed in that direction too. I used to believe that the sexual and reproductive rights movement was something I just happen to fall into during college, but my introduction began before I even picked up a violin. My mom may have been my biggest supporter in music, but it was what she did (and didn’t do) that planted the seed into the passions and mindset I have today.

I was in middle school, and one day my mother and I were headed back home from a day of being out and about. While listening to the radio, I heard a commercial about bikini area waxing. Of course, I knew what a bikini was, but had not a clue as to what a bikini line was, so I asked my mom…who didn’t give me an answer. At that time, I figured she didn’t hear me, but I know now that not only did she hear me clearly (the radio definitely wasn’t loud) she didn’t respond because she probably didn’t know how to.

Later on, my mom signed my sister and I up for a “pregnancy prevention” module (and that’s probably not the actual name). These classes were taught by our middle school teachers, who clearly weren’t as comfortable teaching the subject matter compared to their routine algebra, language arts, and science classes. And these classes had more to do with anatomy, knowing how babies were made, and what diseases you could catch if you start having sex early (complete with graphic images).

I never had a conversation with my mother about sex or sexual health. While I was more comfortable going to her when my first menstrual cycle began, our talks consisted mainly of the consequences of having sex (pregnancy), if they ever did come up. No HIV, no sexually transmitted infections (STIs), no what to do and where to go for more information about sexual health. In fact, as a high school student, my mother took me to the pediatrician for a routine exam, and when the nurse asked me if I were having sex, my mother answered “No!” for me. (I wanted to play around with her and asked how could she know if I were having sex or not…but I knew not to go there.)

More than ever, I see that my story mirrors many people who get into this movement. There was a lack of parent-child communication regarding sexual health and wellness, and possibly not because our parents and guardians just don’t want to talk about it (though there are some that fall into this category). Oftentimes, parents don’t know how to talk about it. Some parents go for the doom and gloom, focusing more on the after-effects of sex in an attempt to prevent their child from having sex. Some parents (like my mother) believe that schools have curriculums in place to teach students about sex, and rely on these schools to supply information on sexual health and believe that what their kids are getting is accurate information. But we can’t place the blame solely on parents. I can honestly say that I didn’t ask my mother about sex because, just like her, I didn’t know how to bring it up. I wasn’t having sex in middle school or high school, but I didn’t want to put myself in a position where I could lose her trust. Kids are just as afraid to speak to their parents as parents are to speak with their kids.

Thanks to my mother, I am on the path to do what I can to make sure that parents, children, and even couples become comfortable opening up the lines of communication when it comes to sexual health. We spend so much time making sure that kids know the book and classroom skills needed to get into college (and most of it we don’t use after high school anyway), when we should also be discussing sex, which is a natural part of being human and can prepare children for becoming responsible about their health, knowing about their bodies before someone else gets near it.

Here are some things to consider when you decide to begin speaking with your parent or child about sexual health. It may be easier said than done, but with practice, it’ll get better: (more…)

25 Jul, 2011

Let’s Talk About Sex: Love, Legislation & Leadership Conference (Day 4- THE AFTERGLOW)

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:21:47-04:00July 25th, 2011|Categories: Equity & Justice|Tags: reproductive justice|0 Comments

Yes, the afterglow. The time where everything seems brand new and you have that look of contentment and happiness on your face, be it from sex, kissing, or cuddling. The same goes for the final day of the SisterSong “Let’s Talk About Sex: Love, Legislation & Leadership” Conference. The last day of the conference focused on emerging issues within reproductive justice, and here are some highlighted tweets from the plenary speakers:

Suzanne Persard, Jahajee Sisters, speaking on Indo-Caribbean women in the reproductive justice movement:

Jahajee Sisters addresses domestic violence, gender-based oppression, and LGBT issues in the Indo-Caribbean community.
We were considered authentically Indian if we do not discuss our sexual and reproductive health.
Dismantling patriarchy is at the core of the RJ movement.
Entitlement is the reason why rape is labeled as “alleged”.

Andrea Smith, Incite! Women of Color Against Violence, discussing the prison industrial complex & the human right to sexuality:

The pro-choice and pro-life movements have something in common: criminalization and making something against the law.
The state is the beneficiary of our oppression.
The mainstream movement is racist. We have to hold these mainstream movements accountable.
We support the nonprofit industrial complex when we continue to look at others as the permanent enemy.
We have to build alliances around our similarities instead of being divided by our differences.
Organize instead around a permanent enemy- support people in changing and becoming part of alliances.
What defines the pro-life movement is not a commitment to life, but a commitment to criminalization.
There is innovation and radicalism in our youth, and we should get with the program.
You can win a revolution on your own… Anything else is simply not worth our time.

Beata Tsosie, TEWA Women United, on fighting the military industrial complex for environmental justice:

We deserve job options that are sustainable for our people.
US military is largest polluter in the world…not responsible for cleaning up.
It’s important that as people of color, we continue to insert our voices in the policies that affect our communities.
We still “live off the land”, the impacts of the nuclear industry are big on the community.

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