Raise Your Voice Blog | Nicole Clark Consulting

8 Feb, 2012

10 Reasons Why Your Daughter Won’t Talk to You About Sex

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:40:24-04:00February 8th, 2012|Categories: Public Health & Social Work|Tags: Parent-Child Communication, Youth|0 Comments

In the work that I’ve done with young women throughout the years, I’ve come across one important thing: while young people may build their thinking and decisions based on their interaction with their peers, many young people would actually prefer to get facts about sex and sexuality from family members and other trusted adults.

When I was younger, my mom didn’t really talk to be me about sex and sexuality. When it came to sex, my mother spoke more of the consequences of pregnancy, compared to sexually transmitted infections, self-esteem, and even pleasure. As a young person, I wondered why my parents chose to put my sister and I in those classes where that focused more on showing pictures of people with STIs. (You know those classes!)

At the same time, I remember not being comfortable speaking with my mom about sex, sexuality or anything remotely close to it. I perceived that she would shut me down, that she would think I was having sex even when I wasn’t, or I believed that I would be lying and not telling the truth.

Given that I do most of my work with women and girls, today’s post is focused on the mothers and other female caregivers in a young girl’s life. Young people are more likely to open up to parents and caregivers when they feel valued, respected, and that their voices and opinions are going to be heard. Here are 10 reasons your daughter* may not be comfortable talking with you (and some tips you can take to help her open up to you when she’s ready.) (more…)

30 Jan, 2012

Parent-Child Communication: Keepin’ it Real Around the Kitchen Table

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:39:51-04:00January 30th, 2012|Categories: Workshop, Program, & Curriculum Design|Tags: Parent-Child Communication, Youth|0 Comments

Several years back, I co-facilitated a workshop called “Keepin’ It Real Around the Kitchen Table: Sparking the Discussion About Sex Between Teens and Families”. I’ve facilitated this workshop on and off throughout the years, and while the audience dynamic changes every time I facilitate this workshop, one thing remains the same: 1) Adults feel that young people don’t listen to them, and 2) young people feel that adults don’t listen to them either.

As a subject matter, sexuality requires consistent discussion tailored around the young person’s developmental level. A young person’s family can be a resource that is often underutilized and underdeveloped as an avenue for intervention. In general, when trust and mutual understanding are at the forefront, young people are more likely to talk with their parents, guardians, older siblings, and other trusted adults, and in turn it builds the confidence necessary to discuss more serious subject matters. When these elements are missing, it’s easy for young adults to get involved in activities that can put their health at risk.

Why Keepin’ It Real is Important

In many cultures, sitting around the kitchen table to share meals opens up the opportunity to share what’s going on in our lives. This can lead to frank and honest discussion about a variety of topics (often referred to as keepin’ it real). When it comes to having conversations that can shape how we view our bodies and our lives, keeping it real is required, and should be tailored in such a way that it respects the sexual emergence of young people at various developmental levels. The family dynamic (birth and chosen) can provide a safe space for these conversations. Talking about sexuality can be extremely difficult, but with patience, understanding, and a willingness to learn, adults can be viewed as a beneficial and accessible resource for young people (and they can also learn from young people in the process).

Before any type of discussion on sex and sexuality comes up, it’s important to see just how…“askable” you really are. Advocates for Youth created this nifty guide called “Are You an Askable Parent?” that I tend to highlight as a resource for youth and adults alike. I tend to notice that adults oftentimes will wait until their young person brings up the subject of sex and sexuality before they decide on how best to approach the conversation. By that time, the adult is so flustered that the conversation goes nowhere, leaving both the adult and the young person with no clear sense of what just happened. I give some tips here on how to speak with a young person when the topic of sexual health comes up. If you’ve read those tips, awesome! If not, click the link (this link right here), read them, and come on back. I’ll wait…

Good!

Now that we have the tips in mind, let’s put them into action. (more…)

18 Jan, 2012

2011 Blog Reader Survey: The Results

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:39:04-04:00January 18th, 2012|Categories: Research & Evaluation|Tags: Blogging, Feedback|0 Comments

From December 28, 2011-January 13, 2012, I conducted a short survey to get feedback from my readers on how my blog is doing and where my readers would like to see the blog and my consulting services go in the future.

I wanted to just type of a regular blog post to show the results, but I wanted to try something different.

I came across this awesome service called SlideShare, where you can share PowerPoint presentations in a cool format beyond sending people an email with an attachment.

Ta-da! Above are the results! (Make sure to click the four arrows on the right bottom portion of the screen to view the slideshow in fullscreen.) Have any questions or comments? Share them with us in the comments section below!

Also, congratulations to Chanel Marshall of Jaali, Co. for completing the survey and being chosen as the winner of two pairs of beautifully designed earrings by Colored Girls Hustle. (I put everyone’s name on pieces of paper, tossed the pieces in the air, and picked….a very scientific way of doing things.)

3 Jan, 2012

Take Care of Yourself: 5 Ways to Make 2012 Your Healthiest Year

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:37:40-04:00January 3rd, 2012|Categories: Self & Community Care|Tags: Self Care Corner|0 Comments

Originally posted for The Pro-Choice Public Education Project. Revised January 2012.

Welcome to 2012! The start of a new year always brings in new goals, positive outlooks, and another chance to take another stab at those resolutions you didn’t get around to from last year.

One goal people tend to have involves taking care of themselves, and this comes in a variety of ways: starting a new weight loss/gain program, exercising your mental health by practicing meditation/mindfulness or yoga, or letting go of bad habits (this includes people).

As women and girls, we lead very busy lives these days. We go to classes, work, are active in extracurricular and social activities, and much more. We have so much going on that at times we may forget that we should also take care of the most important person to us: ourselves. When we don’t make the time to take care of ourselves, we can become reactive instead of proactive in many areas of our lives, especially when it comes to making the best decisions for our sexual and reproductive health. Here are some tips for leading a healthier lifestyle in 2012 and beyond:

Take a “personal day”

Sometimes you need to just take time off from everything you’re involved in. I personally have taken a day (or two) off from classes, the 9-5 job, volunteer commitments, and and social activities to collect my thoughts. Try scheduling a day to do something for just for you. If you can do it each week, that’s great. If you are fortunate to have even more time to set aside for yourself, try taking an hour every day to do something just for you. You can get to that book you’ve been meaning to start reading, write in a journal, listen to music that makes you feel good, take a walk, meditate, eat your favorite piece of candy, watch your favorite movie, or even take a well-deserved nap. We can become drained when we are too busy, so use your personal day to have a heart-to-heart with yourself. Consider putting away your cell phones and laptops, and limiting your use of social networking sites like Facebook or Twitter.

Treat the inside and the outside equally

It’s so easy for us to order a Big Mac and fries because it’s fast and convenient, but having a Big Mac and fries several times a week can show up on your waistline. Fast food is great, but everything comes in moderation. If you’ve never been the one to eat tons of fruit and vegetables during the day, try slowly incorporating one or two servings of fruits and vegetables in at least one of your meals throughout the day. Along with eating healthier foods, drink more water instead of soda. Also, try exercising for 20 to 30 minutes at least 3 days a week. This can include any type of sport from walking, jogging, swimming, yoga or Pilates, skating or jumping rope. If you haven’t done any exercising in a while, start off slowly. Exercise can increase your energy level, decease stress, and make you feel good. Most importantly, get enough rest at night. If you can’t seem to get in at least 7-9 hours of sleep, try going to bed one hour earlier than you normally would. Along with exercise, getting enough sleep will make you more energized and you’ll feel more alert throughout the day.

Take yourself out on a date (more…)

28 Dec, 2011

Participate in My 2011 Blog Reader Survey (CLOSED)

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T17:37:00-04:00December 28th, 2011|Categories: Research & Evaluation|Tags: Announcements|0 Comments

NOTE: This contest is closed.

2011 is coming to an end, and I am excited for what the year 2012 will bring!

One of the highlights of 2011 for me was starting my blog in July. It’s been an awesome experience, and the feedback I’ve gotten from you all, my readers, has been very thoughtful and appreciated.

January 2012 will be the 6th month anniversary of my blog, and as the anniversary approaches and I grow more comfortable in the world of blogging and sharing my voices and services, I look forward to taking my blog in new directions and providing you all with more content, relevancy, and better ways to connect with myself and with each other.

To that end, I want to invite you to provide some input and feedback about my blog and services by participating in my 2011 Blog Reader Survery . The survey will take less than 5 minutes. Please answer as truthfully as possible. Your feedback will provide help me to become a better blogger, listener, writer, and service provider.

And, of course, I wouldn’t let you take a survey without getting something in return! Not only will you get the satisfaction of helping me do bigger and better things in 2012, but I will randomly select a survey participant to win two pairs of beautifully crafted earrings by Taja Lindley of Colored Girls Hustle, a cultural arts initiative that empowers, affirms, celebrates, honor, and adorn the bodies, talents, and well-being of women and girls of color. All survey responses are completely anonymous.

Directions:

1. Complete the 2011 Blog Reader Survey.

2. Leave a comment below letting me know that you’ve completed the survey. You can sign in and use your actual name or a screen name, Twitter screen name (and let me know if you’re using a Twitter name). Leaving a comment is the only way I will be able to select a winner. If you’re not interested in the gift, that’s cool. Simply complete the survey.

3. Check back Friday, January 13th, 2012 to see if you’ve won two awesome pair of earrings from Colored Girls Hustle! I will announce the winner here on the blog and on Twitter at 12pm eastern. I will contact the winner, who will select two sets of earrings from Colored Girls Hustle, and they will be mailed to you by myself.

Thanks, and Happy New Year!

10 Reasons Why Your Daughter Won’t Talk to You About Sex

Parent-Child Communication: Keepin’ it Real Around the Kitchen Table

2011 Blog Reader Survey: The Results

Take Care of Yourself: 5 Ways to Make 2012 Your Healthiest Year

Participate in My 2011 Blog Reader Survey (CLOSED)

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