This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.
12 May, 2017

The Self Care Corner: Be Kind To Yourself

By | 2017-05-12T00:52:50+00:00 May 12th, 2017|Categories: Self Care Corner|Tags: |0 Comments

This Sunday is Mother’s Day, and depending on who you are, it can be a difficult day to navigate.

One of the last memories I have of my mother prior to her cancer diagnosis was during an argument she had with my dad. I tried to mediate the situation, but was so overcome with emotion I started to cry. She came over to me and gave me a hug, told me how strong I was and that everything would be ok.

As I stood in the middle of my apartment on earlier this week, and thought to myself, “I could really use one of Mama’s hugs right now”. The tears came pouring out. Not so much due to the 16th anniversary of her death being last week, or that the first holiday I experienced after her death was Mother’s Day (although that also sucked), but because I realized in that moment how self critical I am of myself.

Earlier this week, I read an article on 5 strategies for self-compassion, and Dr. Kristin Neff shared:

“Self-compassion acts like a nurturing parent. So even when you don’t do well, you’re still supportive and accepting of yourself. Like a kind parent, your support and love are unconditional, and you realize that it’s perfectly OK to be imperfect.”

Isn’t it interesting how easy it is to show compassion for others, but not so much for ourselves?

When a sister or a close friend is going through something and they confide in us, we do whatever we can to make them feel better though affirmations, spending time together, or helping them seek solutions to their worries. Yet we feel that we have to hold it together. That we’re strong and shouldn’t let others see us sweat. And when we begin to sweat, the negative self talk and judgment creeps in. We wouldn’t dare say the negative things we say to ourselves to someone else. Yet it feels like second nature to participate in negative self-talk all the time.

When we show kindness to ourselves, we become intentional in being aware of how we’re hurting. It may be difficult to do in the moment, but when we catch ourselves before the negative self-talk begins, instead ask:

How can I show compassion to myself right now? How can I be kind to myself in this moment?

We do this by practicing non-judgment as much as possible and we remind ourselves that, in spite of how things look, we’re not as alone as we think. You can also reach out to a friend or loved one, focus on giving yourself encouraging words. Anything else positive someone can say to you will be icing on the cake.

And speaking of not being alone, there are many instances where I’ve felt my mother’s connection. In the last 1-2 years of my mother’s life, she would awaken at 4:20am to get ready for work. As a teen, I would wake up at 4:19am to watch the clock. When it was 4:20am, I would heat my parents’ bedroom door open like clockwork. In fact, I still wake up at 4:20am on most mornings, regardless if I was in a deep sleep just to look at the clock for a while before writing back to sleep.

Another thing that brings me peace is this quite from Law of Attraction guru and motivational speaker Gabrielle Bernstein:

“Though the physical form is gone, the spiritual connection never leaves. This is just the beginning of a different kind of relationship, a relationship that may be more profound than it was in the physical form. Always trust that loved ones who have departed are always supporting you, no matter what.”

The next time the negative self-talk creep up (especially on a day that may be triggering), use it as a reminder to be kind to yourself.

RAISE YOUR VOICE:  How do you show kindness to yourself? Share below in the comments section.

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19 Apr, 2017

The Self Care Corner: Create Your Introvert & Extrovert Self Care Plan

By | 2017-04-19T13:35:30+00:00 April 19th, 2017|Categories: Self Care Corner|Tags: , , |0 Comments

In February 2017, I was the inaugural speaker for the Uncorked Conversations Series teleconference with Whine & Cheese . We discussed all things self care. After the conversation was over, I was asked a question by a participant:

I describe myself as an extroverted introvert. How do I balance my desire to be alone/practice self care without slipping into a long stretch of withdrawal?

As an introvert, I love my solitude but I’ve also noticed that I’m ok with a dose of extroversion added in my self care.
One way to balance your introversion with your extroversion is to identify self care activities that 1) meet the needs of one of those sides and 2) could meet the needs of both.

Here’s what you need

  • Something to write on
  • A pen or marker (or two different colors to add more color to your plan)

Create your diagram 

Think of a Venn diagram, where two circles overlap in the middle. Like this:

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29 Dec, 2016

Try This: Identify Self Care Activities to Start, Continue, & Stop

By | 2016-12-29T15:04:00+00:00 December 29th, 2016|Categories: Self Care Corner, Workshop Design & Facilitation|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

 

I recently shared a self care exercise you can use to identify your recipes, remedies, rituals, and resources for self care.

Today, let’s try another exercise taken from “The Revolution Starts with Me!: Recipes, Remedies, Rituals, and Resources”, a workshop I co-facilitate with Adaku Utah.

When I facilitated this exercise a few weeks ago with the staff at Reproaction, I adapted it to fit the organization’s self care needs, rather than have the staff complete the exercise individually. This exercise, adapted from the MS Society of Canada, is can found in our self care zine. If you already have the zine, pull it out and follow along, (or you can get a free copy when you sign up for my weekly newsletter.) Like the previous exercise, this exercise can be done individually or by a staff or group.

Here’s what you’ll need:

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15 Dec, 2016

Try This: Create Your Recipes, Remedies, Rituals, and Resources for Self Care

By | 2016-12-15T12:00:29+00:00 December 15th, 2016|Categories: Self Care Corner, Workshop Design & Facilitation|Tags: , , , , |1 Comment

 

I recently attended a staff retreat for Reproaction, one of my clients. During the two-day retreat, I led a few discussions on self care and goal setting in 2017 from an organizational viewpoint.

In particular, I led the staff through two exercises taken from my workshop “The Revolution Starts with Me!: Recipes, Remedies, Rituals, and Resources for Activist Self Care“. This workshop is typically co-facilitated with Adaku Utah, and is tailored to meet the needs of the primary audience. Over the years, the workshop has focused more on young activists as we’ve been asked to facilitate in mostly activist settings, but for Reproaction’s staff retreat, I adapted it to fit the organization’s self care needs. Today, I’ll walk you through one of the exercises. Whether you’re a staff or a group of students, this exercise will work for you, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it.

Here’s what you’ll need:

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8 Aug, 2014

The Self Care Corner: A Seven Step Prescription for Self Love

By | 2016-10-25T01:48:02+00:00 August 8th, 2014|Categories: Self Care Corner|Tags: , , |0 Comments

I recently came across an article from Deborah Khoshaba, Psy. D., a contributor for Psychology Today. Called “A Seven-Step Prescription for Self Love” Dr. Khoshaba shares seven ways to incorporate self love into your life.

Dr. Khoshaba’s says, “Self love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.”

Here are Dr. Khoshaba’s seven steps for self love:

*Become mindful

*Act on what you need rather on what you want

*Practice good self care

*Set boundaries

*Protect yourself

*Forgive yourself

*Live intentionally

Read more about Dr. Khoshaba’s seven steps for self love on Psychology Today.

RAISE YOUR VOICE: What you think about this week’s resource? Share your insights in the comments section below. Do you have a self care resource or exercise you want to share? Contact me to have it featured in an upcoming Self Care Corner post.

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