Miscellaneous Archives - Nicole Clark Consulting

4 Nov, 2020

Ask Nicole: The Best Time to Look for a Consultant

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T21:01:33-04:00November 4th, 2020|Categories: Miscellaneous|Tags: Ask Nicole, consulting|0 Comments

*Have a question you’d like featured? Let me know.*

The best time to look for a consultant is before you need a consultant.

An observation I’ve made in the past few years is that nonprofits and organizations look for a consultant when they come across an opportunity to fund a project, and that’s not the most effective way to find someone.

It’s not effective because now you have to either 1) create a request for proposals, sit back, and receive responses from a lot of people who may not be a good fit (which may prompt you to continue to look for someone); o r2) ask around for someone who can do the tasks, contact them, and see whether the people you’ve contacted are even available to work with you.

The best time to look for a consultant is before you need a consultant, and here’s why:

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15 Jan, 2020

Ask Nicole: Why Did You Move from New York City to Washington, DC?

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T20:46:24-04:00January 15th, 2020|Categories: Miscellaneous|Tags: Ask Nicole, Reflections|0 Comments

Have a question you’d like to be featured? Let me know.

After 11 years in New York City, I moved to Washington, DC, on December 30, 2019.

I’ve only been here for about 2 weeks, but in that short time, I’ve been asked a variation of the question above.

This has been a decision I debated for over a year, and understanding the privilege I have of being self-employed with no dependents and having the ability to pick up and go, it was a decision I didn’t take likely but also a decision that I wanted to make unapologetically.

For the past 2-3 years, I traveled between my home away from home (New York City) and my actual home (Atlanta), and in the process, I realized that something was missing in both locations.

I relocated from Atlanta to New York City in August 2008 for graduate school, and while the plan was to only be there to complete my degree, I decided to stay because I felt that there was something I needed to prove to not only myself to everyone else. I wanted to prove that I could make it away from home, and while there were plenty of hiccups along the way, I succeeded in that.

I went from seeing New York City as the only place I could ever see myself to realizing that, as exciting as the city is, I needed to be in a place that has a slower pace. But when I would go home, I didn’t feel that I belong there any more than I did in New York.

I also noticed my quality of life started to take a dive. For many, the cost of living, housing, job opportunities, schools, and more play a factor in measuring a city’s quality of life, but for me, I wanted mentally present anymore in both New York and Atlanta.

So, why Washington, DC? Ultimately, I chose DC because it represented to me something I no longer had in New York and I couldn’t find in Atlanta.

I wanted a new beginning.

And like Goldilocks, when New York started to become too much and Atlanta felt not enough, being in DC feels just right.

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16 Jan, 2019

How My Mother’s Death Makes Me Fear Motherhood (Revisited)

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T20:22:53-04:00January 16th, 2019|Categories: Miscellaneous|Tags: Motherhood, Parenting, pregnancy|0 Comments

Today I thought about a comment my mom made to my sister and I years ago while driving to our aunt’s house to drop us off before going to work. We were arguing with each other in the back seat, when my mom yelled at us to stop and said, “I almost died giving both to y’all“.

I thought she was lying to get us to stop fighting. You can’t die giving birth, I thought. I had no concept of women dying while giving birth. Pregnancy and birth are supposed to be a joyous occasion for many, and the thought of growing up without her was something I didn’t want to endure.

When I wrote “How My Mother’s Death Makes me Fear Motherhood” in 2011, I was 28 years old, 15 years away from the age my mother was when she died. Now in my thirties and roughly 8 years away from that pivotal age, several of my friends are now experiencing parental loss, particularly their mothers.

I’m at a point in my motherless daughter journey where the pain, anger, and denial are not as intense as they were at age 17 when my mom died, yet there are moments where I feel my mom’s absence more now than I did back then.

Some of the reasons I gave for my fear of motherhood ran the gamut from not wanting to live up to the societal expectation that all women aspire to be mothers to dying prematurely before my child becomes an adult.

While I still believe that holding a puppy is more fun than holding a baby, I don’t necessarily fear motherhood in the ways I did back in 2011. Due to a shift in recent years of me working more with client organizations that work at the intersections of maternal health and racial justice, my thoughts have shifted more towards an earnest interest in maternal health and the complexities that come with it.

As incredulous as I felt then about pregnant women dying during childbirth, I have to remind myself now that it does occur. And it scares me more than my sister and I could have grown up without our mother rather than her dying before we became adults.

The comment my mom made was such a fleeting moment that now I wished I had asked her more about it. What were the causes and/or conditions she had that put her at risk for dying during childbirth?

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7 Feb, 2018

Ask Nicole: How Are Your Raising Your Voice for Women & Girls of Color?

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T20:08:46-04:00February 7th, 2018|Categories: Miscellaneous|Tags: activism, Ask Nicole|0 Comments

Have a question? Let me know.

Click here to take the survey

“Raise Your Voice for Women & Girls of Color” is more than just a tagline for my business. It’s a call to action that leads how I do my work and who I do it with.

More importantly, it guides who I am ultimately in service to.

These days, I work more closely with the “gate keepers”. These are the executive directors, program managers, grant writers, foundations and more that are responsible for the funding, development, and implementation of programs and services that are designed to meet the needs of the various communities they service, especially women and girls of color. But I try my best to never lose sight of who I’m really working for.

Outside of deciding if something sounds interesting, when I take on a client project or speaking engagement, I ask myself:

How will this help me raise my voice for women and girls of color?

Before I started working more closely with the gate keepers, I was on the frontlines along with women and girls of color. And I still am in many ways.

But asking this question forces me to think outside of myself and remember that it’s much bigger than me. Another question I ask myself is:

How am I CURRENTLY raising my voice for women and girls of color?

This is more of an integrity question. Away from social media, when no one is watching, when I stop doing my work for the day, and when my speaking engagement is over. How am I currently raising my voice for women and girls of color in my personal AND my professional life?

How do I speak about women and girls of color? Am I more empowering and focused on resilience professionally yet resort to victim blame and shame privately? Do I continue to work with clients doing the status quo or encourage them to maximize their potential and impact by involving women and girls of color–their key stakeholders–in their collective impact? A third question I ask myself is:

How do I WANT to raise my voice for women and girls of color?

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15 Jan, 2018

Review: The Girls’ Guide to Sex Education: 150 Honest Answers to Urgent Questions about Puberty, Relationships, and Growing Up [GIVEAWAY CLOSED]

By Nicole Clark, LMSW|2021-08-19T20:07:55-04:00January 15th, 2018|Categories: Miscellaneous|Tags: Announcements|0 Comments

February 1, 2018: Congratulations to Beth Pellettieri and Kimmie Remis! Click on their names to see how they plan to use the book!

One day, my mom took my sister and I to our local public library to check out some books. One of the books I checked out was “What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Girls: A Growing Up Guide for Parents and Daughters”. It’s one of the most banned books in the United States. Why? Because many people believed the content–targeted towards youth ages 8-15–was too graphic, mentioned HIV/AIDS, and challenged the religious notion that masturbation is a sin.

I don’t remember much about how the book was written, but what I do remember is shielding my mom from seeing me check out that book.

A lot has changed since that time, but many things–including navigating platonic and romantic relationships, understanding puberty, and more–remain the same, despite medical advancements, more educational resources, fact-checking and the internet. In fact, the biggest thing that hasn’t changed much since the dawn of adolescence is this: Young people are searching for answers about their lives, and are looking to adults to provide the answers.

Enter Michelle Hope. Michelle is an award-winning sexologist and educator who uses pop culture, entertainment, and social media to show how sexuality impacts everyday relationships. And her first book, The Girls’ Guide to Sex Education: 150 Honest Answers to Urgent Questions about Puberty, Relationships, and Growing Up, launches February 20, 2018.

I met Michelle in 2015 while consulting with the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, when she joined the NYC DOHMH’s Sexual and Reproductive Justice Community Engagement Group. My first impression of Michelle was that she was commanding, passionate, and caring. And seeing her in action while working with young people solidified my impression.

That’s why I’m so excited that Michelle is releasing The Girls’ Guide to Sex Education, and I’m more excited that Michelle has given me an exclusive first look at the book, as well as the option to give away two free copies.

Before I share the rules of the giveaway, here’s my review of The Girls’ Guide to Sex Education:

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Ask Nicole: The Best Time to Look for a Consultant

Ask Nicole: Why Did You Move from New York City to Washington, DC?

How My Mother’s Death Makes Me Fear Motherhood (Revisited)

Ask Nicole: How Are Your Raising Your Voice for Women & Girls of Color?

Click here to take the survey

How will this help me raise my voice for women and girls of color?

How am I CURRENTLY raising my voice for women and girls of color?

How do I WANT to raise my voice for women and girls of color?

Review: The Girls’ Guide to Sex Education: 150 Honest Answers to Urgent Questions about Puberty, Relationships, and Growing Up [GIVEAWAY CLOSED]

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