I’m not sure how to begin this post. So, I’ll start by asking some questions:
1) Why would an adult want to watch a child performing a sexual act on tape?
2) Have you ever performed a sexual act on someone? (and)
3) Do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were not taped in the process?
4) Why do we know the name of the young girl…but not the names of the young boys who set her up?
5) She asked if being called “supa head 2” was considered a good or bad thing?
These were some of the questions I had as I read up on internet articles, Facebook, and Twitter on the incident involving a 14-year-old young girl who was secretly videotaped performing oral sex on a classmate. If you’re not sure what it is I’m referring to, click here, here, here, and also here.
At first, I didn’t want to write a post on this, but I decided to wait until now to do so. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m angry. I’m angry because another young woman of color somehow got into a sad predicament that could have potentially ruined her life. I’m angry because I saw grown people searching for the footage to watch (Isn’t that child pornography?) I’m angry because I’m also saw grown people (including women) calling this child a hoe, slut and every other name in the book for doing something that (I’m 99.999% sure) these adults have done before only they may have believed they weren’t being taped while doing it. I’m angry because the mainstream media is not focusing on this story more and it probably doesn’t resonate with mainstream America because this child doesn’t have blond hair and blue eyes. I’m angry because this is another example of what could potentially happen when our young girls go looking for validation in the arms of boys that don’t care about them. I’m angry at everyone who thinks this situation is funny. I’m angry at just how much this story lives up to the double standards: that boys will be boys and that girls are “just supposed to know better”. I’m also angry because I do feel sorry for these boys as well. They may not be called the hurtful names as this young woman is being called, but they too are being exploited.
What is the solution here? What can we do as adults to decrease the likelihood of incidences like this from occurring in the future? For one, we can stop sending mixed messages to young people about sex and sexuality. We can put the blame all we want on the media, rappers, models, music, videos, pop culture, social media, and magazines all we want, but young people are looking to the adults in their lives on how to behave.
My answers to the questions? :
1) I don’t have an answer for this one. Why would an adult watch a child performing a sexual act on tape? Why were there so many grown men AND women looking for this footage like they were participating in a scavenger hunt?
2) Seeing women called this young girl derogatory names and saying that it was her fault is what really got to me. How many of you grown adult women have ever performed oral sex (or vaginal or anal) with someone? And this leads into the answer for the 3rd question…
3) Seriously? Do you know if you were or were not taped? I’m not saying that you should be paranoid during every intimate encounter you have from now on, but it should really make you think.
4) I don’t want to include her name in this post because we all know her name. From being a trending topic on Twitter to various websites covering this story, I don’t need to add her name here. Someone let me know when the media finally decides to stop protecting these boys and announce their names for all the world to know. But I doubt that’ll matter much.
5) I want to give her a hug. She tweeted about feeling suicidal and (from what I’m reading) has decided to switch schools. She tweeted, “I never bragged or boasted about the video that was illegal put on the internet so why am I a hoe?”
Whether you like it or not, it’s our fault, and we’ve got to do better.
CALL TO ACTION: What can we do to decrease incidence like this from occurring in the future?